I used to have the reasons why retaliation is wrong very clearly and easily explained in my mind. However, after a bloody terrible week I just can't recall any of those reasons. Gone. Nothing.
Please help, or I'll end up lamping someone next week.....

Tony

Whatever you do, don't do it too soon.

Revenge, after all, is a dish best served cold, or so they say.

Two wrongs don't make a right - three do.

Seriously, though, try to look at it from the "how much worse it could've been" point of view. If you have a nasty car crash and survive people will tell you (endlessly in my experience) how lucky you have been. I reckon, seriously, that having a car crash is never anything less than at least mild bad luck. In all things it depends how you look at it.

You could after all have the looks of Wayne Rooney, the intelligence of Wayne Rooney, the gambling problems of Wayne Rooney, the debts (allegedly) of Wayne Rooney and the girlfriend of Wayne Rooney. Imagine that!

The weather is supposed to be going to be nice this weekend if that helps.

Treat yourself to a nice bottle of wine...

All the best

Rod

Reasons to lamp someone: Personal satisfaction

Reasons not to: Laws, police, courts, barristers bills, fines or gaols, visa applications in future...

The ethics, self-respect thing is fluff, really.

Tony

Suggest you watch Kill Bill and get it all out of your system, or if nothing else get a few pointers on how to do revenge properly.

Spock

It's always best if you get it in first

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use.
It is hitting below the intellect.

Oscar Wilde 1856-1900

It seems appropriate.

Dear Tony,

I am sorry to hear your news.

Here are a few thoughts:

Anger and retaliation is never ever the right way IMO. It just perpetuates a cycle.

Revenge is not a dish best served cold it is a dish best not served at all.

It is not always possible to know the effects of our actions when we act out of anger in an uncontrolled way. My advice is to occupy the moral high ground and know you are better than those who have trespassed against you. It is a sign of great maturity do to this.

Easier said than done I know and I dont know how I would respond if someone kidnapped, raped and murdered my child for example but anything less than this and I can usually walk away without being too compromised. I do believe we get back what we give out and this is not a moral law based on reward and punishment which are judgements but it is simply how the universe is.

There is good and bad in the world and each day we either add to the good or add to the bad. I personally think the world would be a better place if you did not do any lamping. You might feel better in the short term but there will be consequences unforseen and the whole thing will come back to bite you eventually.

The only way to truly defeat your enemies is to make friends with them. (Pres. Lincoln)

All the best Tony,

Erik

Cover your a**e first, then do it, & do it well.
(as long as its not aimed at me, that is!)

Sorry, just playing devils advocate to all the well intentioned previous intellectual quotes. But there are some good reasons for retaliating.
matt.

The Greatest remedy I've found for anger is delay, and a quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle unless there be two.

Without knowing the seriousness of the crime, it is impossible to comment. Easy to say rise above it, but if it's a personal matter it would be best to sympathise. If it's just work however, and as you refer to the "week" I imagine it is work related, in which case there are worse things going on to worry about. We have all done things we regret that might have seriously pissed people off, so it's best to remember that we are all human. If it is more serious than that, then I hope you can find a way forward.

Look at the daily shite involving the Israelis and Palestinians, then reflect on where this policy is getting them.

G

Ghandi: An eye for an eye will make the world blind.

regards, Tam

I don't hold with retaliation and anybody who provokes retaliation deserves a good thump.

Thanks to all, I think I've got it straight now. Perhaps I'll feel better after the weekend anyway.

Tony

Wow, plenty of high moral ground thinkers here. And to be fair they may well be right to say rise above, hold out the hand of friendship, two wrongs don't make....etc. etc.

However, there is always the question of right, and then of course justice.

If someone does another a clear wrong, or makes an intended gain at another’s costly expense, and the response is either nothing, friendship, indifference, etc. then the chances are they will do it again and to others. Why not?

What is needed here is more information. Was this someone being annoying but possibly right in taking the position they did i.e. its raining and the guy in the car in front goes into the last parking space near the door even though I have three kids with me and one needs the toilet pretty bad. Although it’s a first come, first served basis if we have to park a mile away and walk in the rain we might well feel aggrieved. However, the other party did not in fact do anything wrong either legally or immorally. It’s just not what I wanted.

On the other hand, if a guy deliberately went about looking to seduce the Wives of colleagues or neighbours just for the hell of it then he clearly deserve a response.

At work there are many examples that, although annoying to us and get in the way of our way of working or personal abitions, would fit the first example. In these cases be patient, aware, mindful and ready to act the next time a situation arises. There is no need to lump anyone.

In cases where others lie, steal and cheat to gain advantage, then they need to be addressed. The response needs foremost to be legal and none physical, it also needs to be undertaken with a clear head (best served cold) and only when the aggrieved is ready.

Remember a decisive blow can be delivered not by you, but by another. And quite often without them realising they are doing it. You need to take time, be considered and be measured.

And at all times be ready for the consequences. Sometime seeing the results of our actions does not always give the intended pleasure that may have been expected.

My final contribution here is thus: if you can let it pass do so, if not take control. Do not live in the world of ‘if only’.

It all depends what it is over imo, if somebody wacks my heel with a shopping trolley I would hardly go looking for them with a machete, on the other hand, because of the inability of this country to put the victim first if it involved one of my family I would happily do the bird if caught caving someones skull in.
I am not a violent person, and I will kill the first bastard that says I am!
Where have we heard that before?