Valentine's day

Depends if she wants a Spotted-Winged Fruit Bat or a Lesser Short-Nosed Fruit Bat.

So, she's not that fussy then...

fruitbatskeletons.com

BTW - I also recommend conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes!

You could try MoonFruitBatSkeletons.com.

It says you care - but not enough to make much effort.

OR:

Send her a box with a fruit bat in it AND a vial of driver ants.

The driver ants will be released at some random moment - rendering the bat 'skeletonised'.

The bonus to this gift is that she will not know how delighted to be - until she opens the box.

It is, Mr Schrödinger, Your Bat.

Ah yes and must be careful of Bat VAT. And the trouble with the internet is you never really know what you're getting. Knew a fella once, imported a Giant Golden-Crowned Flying Fox (Acerodon Humilus). Only thing is, and this is the funny part, turns out he was sent a Spectacled Flying Fox (Pteropus Conspicallatus). Which, as I'm sure you know, is not the same thing at all. On account of the different gestation periods you see. Still he saw the funny side. Dined out on that one for weeks. Until I pointed out that while the genus might not match exactly, they both prefer a similar jungle habitat and riparian zone flower diet, so it was an easy mistake to make and maybe he should just stop going on about it alright.

In the spirit of giving -  a little something  for you: -

"The internationally famous film actor Dustin Hoffman is perhaps best known for his roles in The Graduate and Midnight Cowboy, but he once took to the stage in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman, in which he played the part of Willy Loman.

Frank Rich, theatre critic for The New York Times, must surely have been suffering a chronic senior moment when he wrote in a review:

‘I was overwhelmed by the tragic smallness of Dustin Hoffman’s Willy.’"