Out of the mouth of babes...
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mum, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?' 'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Sniper: A bunch of Military Police came in for free haircuts????? I don't get it! 
Actually, I agree with you, George Frederick--it doesn't matter what country you are in--the politicians milk us dry. Moreover, they lie and largely do not care about what happens to little men and women (i.e., anyone who is not one of them). Look at what happened in Benghazi. Britain got your folks out. The freaking Red Cross got their folks out. Barack and Hillary left our staff there so it would not appear that their "successful" foreign policy of "reaching out" to the Muslim Brotherhood and their "conquest" of Al Quaeda had falied miserably. Our Ambassador begged for reinforcements and was denied. When the shooting started, the staff begged for help and were denied. Ex Navy Seals ignored orders to stand down and gave their lives to rescue most of the people on the ground.
Oh, Barack and Hillary were filmed in the White House situation room for publicity photos when Barack got up the guts to kill Bin Laden. They posed for more pictures on other occasions. But when their staff were being murdered--and possibly buggered to boot--and they watched it in real time--no photos. Why do you think Hillary hasn't been in the U.S. since the election? And then she delays the cease fire in Gaza which will bring everlasting peace
--24 hours so she can be there and take the credit. And both of them will skate on this--and she may be our next president. Margaret Thatcher? Roll over in your grave, Dear Lady!
Nappies indeed. And full ones at that.
Russ
Yep, Clay. I need to get with the program. Nothing can be wrong with the Chosen One, so it must be me!. I will add to your list to learn Greek.
Respectfully,
Russ
Great news!
The book "Understanding Women" is now out in paperback.
Obviously this is only Volume 1 of 10.