Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Tomorrow is the date that sound engineers have been waiting for all century .
The version I heard was:
Are you sure its International Roadies Centenary Day - check one two, one two, one two....
I'll get my coat...
regards,
Giles
Tomorrow is the date that sound engineers have been waiting for all century .
What do you mean tomorrow 
You're right Phil, it's another example of junk, but I couldn't think of funny way of putting it, to keep to the thread.
Damn, I've just done it again!
I agree. The occasional comment is ok but recently one or two relatively new posters seem determined to bump their post count by posting useless shite comments.
Please stop. You know who you are.
As they strolled home through the park, the young man wondered what chance he had with his new Chinese girl friend. Would she or wouldn’t she …….?
She agreed to go in for a coffee and a chat.
They snogged…………….
Later, as they snuggled down in his warm bed and they lay together she asked, ‘what you really like now’.
Plucking up courage the young stud replied, ‘Well, how about a 69’.
‘Oh, if you think I’m cooking a bloody meal at this time of night, you can f*** off’, was the reply.
Three men die in a tragic car accident coming back from a party on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at The Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven.
“Not so fast…” says the man on the door, Pete. “You lot acted disgracefully, getting pissed up, mucking about at the party and then driving home in an inebriated state. Today, to make up for it, before coming through these gates you must present something ‘Christmassy’ ".
The first chap searches his pockets, and finds some Mistletoe he scragged from the doorway in the house.
“Fair enough, in you go” and he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker not yet pulled, so he is allowed in too.
The third guy thinks long and hard and then pulls out a pair of knickers from his pocket.
Confused at this last gesture, Pete asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
Norwegian computer audiophile terms.
Wireless: vat dem dam copper thieves leave me
Wireless access point: vere dey break into my house
Networking: good, now ve go fishing
Bitperfect: vere are dem false teeth?
Server: vat I do since ve vere married
Squeezebox: ven Sigrid's feeling frisky
Pocket server: ven she's not
Streaming: ven I vos young, now I dribble
TCP/IP: see streaming
Keep them coming Jan - nice to hear
Tomorrow is the date that sound engineers have been waiting for all century .
took me a minute to get this, but very good,LOL
I just bought a Christmas tree. The assistant asked "Will you be putting it up yourself?"
I replied "No, it's going up in the living room"
Is there any way we can have the jokes without the useless comments afterwards? Bored with having to sift through the irrelevant junk.
LOL, haha, etc. ...................................
Who are you talking about?
..................................................... cont page 94.
David Cameron? (that qualifies as a joke for the purposes of this thread) G.
Comedians usually Like to get some recognition for their jokes.
No harm in comments to show ones appreciation of the jokes!
Maybe the nice photo thread, and the system pics thread should ban everything except a picture!
I think not.
This is after all a forum, and part of social media
Norwegian computer audio terms (continued) :
Network attached storage : vere ve keep da nets
Transport : Volvo
Transmission control protocol : first gear before second on da Volvo
Ogg : Vorbis’ cousin
Vorbis : see Ogg
Ogg-Vorbis : children’s surname
The photo thread would probably ban recycled pictures too.
Comedians usually Like to get some recognition for their jokes.
No harm in comments to show ones appreciation of the jokes!
Maybe the nice photo thread, and the system pics thread should ban everything except a picture!
I think not.
This is after all a forum, and part of social media
Good point. Perhaps consideration might also be given to siiting back and seeing how the forum members interact as a whole. Each forum has their distinct feel and way of doing business. Being sensitive to the concerns of others is something we should all consider.
Just a sensitive guy
Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding.
Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realise they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good with this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do it.
After two hours, he returns carrying a six-pack of beer.
"So, did you tell her?" Asks Jeff.
"Yep." Replies Bob.
"Hey, where did you get the six-pack?"
"She gave it to me."
"What?!" Exclaims Jeff. "You just told her that her husband died, and she gave you a six-pack?!"
"Sure. When she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steve's widow. 'Widow?' She said. 'No, no..I'm not a widow. You must be mistaken.' So I said, 'I'll bet you a six-pack you are!'"
It came with my pea sea
It plane lee marques four my revue
Miss steaks aye ken knot sea
Eye ran this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no
It's vary polished in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew
A chequer is a bless sing
It freeze yew lodes of thyme
It helps me awl stiles two reed
And aides mi when aye rime
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud
And wee mussed dew the best wee can
Sew flaws are knot aloud
And now bee cause my spelling
is checked with such grate flare
Their are know faults with in my cite
Of nun eye am a wear
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to be a joule
The chequer poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule
That's why aye brake in two averse
My righting wants too pleas
Sow now ewe sea wye aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas
That should win a pullet surprise.
That should win a pullet surprise.
Or a no bell
Tony, you never fail to entertain. Nice one.
Ken
Tony m
Fantastic rhyme, at first I thought it was written in yorkshirish (eebyegum), until I got into it
Nice work
Tony m
Fantastic rhyme, at first I thought it was written in yorkshirish (eebyegum), until I got into it
Nice work
... no, nice googling 
... as was my reply 