Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by GraemeH

Originally Posted by Paper Plane:

These jokes need reigning in...

I mean, how many more will we be saddled with?

I'm not trying to stirrup trouble.

steve

They are quite funny......in the mane....G

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by GraemeH

Asked when they had started selling their new range of burgers, a spokesman for Tesco replied "Not furlong"....

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by JamieWednesday

I likes the 'Bit' one

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by BigH47

Blockbuster is in trouble after they found traces of "War Horse" in "Hamburger Hill".

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by Blueknowz

I had meatballs & Spaghetti for my dinner tonight It was the dogs bollocks!

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by TomK

Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:

Funny ol world when a joke about shop workers draws criticism, but one about testicular cancer doesn't. There you go, I suppose. Tony

I'm sorry Tony I hadn't realised that a patronising rude comment about shop workers who are soon to be on the dole was meant to be a joke. I thought it was just another ill informed insensitive humourless ignorant comment about our current plight. The clue, as in most of your joke posts, was in the complete lack of humour.

I love your photos. Why not stick to them?

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by Russ

Res ipsa loquitor!

Russ

Posted on: 16 January 2013 by Tony Lockhart

The guy seemed really interested in making an offer for my terraced house today.

"Can I ask one thing," he said "Can you tell me honestly what the neighbours are like?"

"Just bloody relieved I'm going." I said.

Tony

PS. No, Richard, I'm not leaving the forum

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Mike-B

Doctor! Doctor! I can't stop singing "The Green Green Grass of Home."
Aah! That's what we call "Tom Jones Syndrome".
Is it common?
It's not unusual.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Mike-B

Just had two women at my door lecturing me on the benefits of brown bread!!!!

Hovis witnesses !!!

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by MDS

The burger business is serious and ought to trigger a public equinery to find the cowboys responsible!

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by J.N.

Originally Posted by MDS:

The burger business is serious and ought to trigger a public equinery to find the cowboys responsible!

Should that be 'jockeys'? Cowboys should be looking after the genuine article.

John.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by GraemeH

Is this a Tesco's recipe book?

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Mike-B

Its beef Jim, but not as we know it.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Cbr600

Originally Posted by Mike-B:

Its beef Jim, but not as we know it.

LOL

Beam me up scottie

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Tony Lockhart

I've been a member of a gym for 3 months now and I still dont have a sixpack. Maybe i should start going.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Paper Plane

I'd heard Tesco were sponsoring a new Victorian detective series, Fetlock Holmes.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Happy Listener

Surely the worst yet:

Tesco advise that If you feel ill after a burger, you should quickly trot-off to your local horsepital.

Where the nurse will stick a thermometer up your bum.....steady now!

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Tony Lockhart

My doctor told me I should watch what I eat. So I've booked tickets for the Grand National in April.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Tony Lockhart

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Jan-Erik Nordoen

Ooh... is she available ?

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Conortsun

I've just been asked what I wanted on my burger. I went for a fiver each way.

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Conortsun

Anagram for today; hamburgers = shergar bum

Posted on: 17 January 2013 by Happy Listener

This all very much reminds me of the Not The Nine O'Clock News sketch around the pork pie and black pudding factory, where YTS trainees were sent never to be seen again.

Worth looking up if you get the chance.