Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Can you believe it ? Monica Lewinsky is over 50 !!!
It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around on her hands & knees putting everything in her mouth... They grow up so fast, don't they?
They certainly do. She's only 40 this year so you were close, but no cigar......G
And some group just chose old Willie Boy himself "Father of the Year." Not sure why they passed over Monica's own dad for that--I suppose because he raised such a poor example of a daughter--who kept sneaking past the Secret Service into the Oval Office and went crawling under the desk to deliver unwelcome rim jobs to the Great I AM while He talked with world leaders. Father of ANY year indeed! No need to look here for the best joke of any year--William Jefferson Clinton are it!
I'll never forget that after he perjured himself on whether or not he was engaging with sex with his own government employee, he went before Congress to deliver the Stain of the Union Address!
Best regards,
Russ
Proof of Google's evil empire ....
Instructions:
Drive past the donkey then look back.
https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&ll=-23.527516%2C24.722529&spn=7.108058%2C9.063721&t=m&layer=c&cbll=-23.527516%2C24.722529&panoid=6LSqEIMxwYSzdqLWcpoaOg&cbp=12%2C163.35%2C%2C0%2C3.72&z=7
Instructions:
Drive past the donkey then look back.
Surrealistic.
The first time I drove past and looked back, the donkey was fine. The second time, not so much.
Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Northern Tip of
Newfoundland. He said that since early this morning the snow has been
nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping
way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force.
His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just
stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Taoism – Shit Happens
Hinduism – This shit happened before
Islam – If shit happens, take a hostage
Buddhism – Is it really shit
7th Day Adventist – Shit happens on Saturday
Protestantism – Shit won’t happen if I work harder
Catholicism – If shit happens, I deserve it
Jehovah’s Witness – Knock Knock spreading the shit
Judaism – Why does shit always happen to me
Hare Krishna – Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
T.V. Evangelism – Send more shit
Rastafarianism – Less smoke dis shit
Excellent Mike.
I'm trying to come up with one for Naimism...
Arf. Check your glasses Mike !
Animism : the religious worldview that natural physical entities—including animals, plants, and often even inanimate objects or phenomena—possess a spiritual essence
Naimism : a variant of animism – a religious worldview that an inanimate black box is the shit
Arf. Check your glasses Mike !
Shhh########tttttt
I deleted it
Naimism - Shit wont happen with NACA5
Zen Buddhism - what is the sound of shit happening?
My wife says I have only two faults.
I don't listen and some other sh1t she was rattling on about.
Scottish Compassion:
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach.
He had no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England , Wales , and Scotland ,
Were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'ave ya ever been f--ked, laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said, "No".
She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."
If you're feeling out of sorts & can't sleep, don't take a laxative & a sleeping pill.