Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Use a propelling pencil
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke please as I need one to get even with our local pub quiz questioner. We had a pirate round the other week and the RRRRRR joke are continuing and wearing a little thin so a real bobby dazzler would help me out and anyway a pirate joke is always welcome. I'l start us off with the type that I dont want.
Where do Pirate shop? ..... AAAAAR gos'
(see what I mean?)
A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, and a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, "Hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It's driving me nuts."
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke please as I need one to get even with our local pub quiz questioner. We had a pirate round the other week and the RRRRRR joke are continuing and wearing a little thin so a real bobby dazzler would help me out and anyway a pirate joke is always welcome. I'l start us off with the type that I dont want.
Where do Pirate shop? ..... AAAAAR gos'
(see what I mean?)
News item : Quebec premier Pauline Marois was at the Scottish Parliament on Tuesday to meet with her counterpart, Scotland's First Minister Alex Salmond.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer and a mop."
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke please as I need one to get even with our local pub quiz questioner. We had a pirate round the other week and the RRRRRR joke are continuing and wearing a little thin so a real bobby dazzler would help me out and anyway a pirate joke is always welcome. I'l start us off with the type that I dont want.
Where do Pirate shop? ..... AAAAAR gos'
(see what I mean?)
Who first sailed around the world single-handed? Captain Hook.
Soon to be in French.
Though to be honest,
I don't think Dave and Vic are idiots by any meaning of the word..
And they have been A Broad many times before.
"You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any
reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my
indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any
guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained
me.
Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no
avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body
still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making
it all the more difficult to forget you.
Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........
Damned mosquito!"
Following his death today, the family of the creator of the etch-a-sketch have been left devastated after his will was mysteriously rubbed out.
I work in McDonald's and a customer was rude to me today, so I got him back by not putting any pop in his drink.
Just ice was served.
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke please as I need one to get even with our local pub quiz questioner. We had a pirate round the other week and the RRRRRR joke are continuing and wearing a little thin so a real bobby dazzler would help me out and anyway a pirate joke is always welcome. I'l start us off with the type that I dont want.
Where do Pirate shop? ..... AAAAAR gos'
(see what I mean?)
That made me laugh.
+1 me 'earty.
My new book, The Dog That Died: The HMV Story, is available to pre-order at Amazon.
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke
What has eight legs, eight eyes and eight hands ?
Eight pirates
Does anyone know a really clever 'Pirate' joke
What has eight legs, eight eyes and eight hands ?
Eight pirates
I like that one.