Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Three statisticians went duck hunting.
A duck flew up & the first statistician shot & missed being a foot too high.
The second shot & was a foot too low.
The third shouted, "We hit it!"
Just been to the shops to buy some spirits (Bacardi, Lamb's) and some hamburgers: White Rum, Dark Rum and Red Rum.
Amid the current saga of horse-meat being put in non-horse-meat products, my vegetarian friend confessed a real fear that there may be beef in his horse-radish sauce.
ATB from George
A housewife hires a cleaning woman so it frees up her time do the voluntary work at the day nursery where the cleaner leaves her child.
3-star restaurant on the Champs-Elysees makes omelets with only one egg
Apparently in Paris, one egg is un oeuf.
George,
Funny. This one is not a joke but my wife, who is a vegetarian, and I went into a little South Texas greasy spoon Mom and Pop cafe once. She ordered a salad and I asked if there was any meat in it. The waitress said no. When it came, it was swimming in real bacon bits. I pointed it out to the waitress and she said: "That ain't meat--it's just bacon."
Best regards,
Russ
George,
Funny. This one is not a joke but my wife, who is a vegetarian, and I went into a little South Texas greasy spoon Mom and Pop cafe once. She ordered a salad and I asked if there was any meat in it. The waitress said no. When it came, it was swimming in real bacon bits. I pointed it out to the waitress and she said: "That ain't meat--it's just bacon."
Best regards,
Russ
LOL!
Did you know that 5 out of every 4 people have a problem with fractions
Nice !
Apparently, an application from a Cardinal in Columbia, Louis Siccola, has just been declined by the Varican as a candidate for the new Pope. They refused to sanction a Pope Siccola!
A 'Lady of the Evening' walks into a swank downtown hotel bar, sits down next to a businessman in a nice suit.
After a bit of small talk she whispers into his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 200 dollars.''
''Great! " he says. " Paint My House!"
Just checking in to see if there are any Oscar Pistorius jokes from either of the Tony's. Come on you two, I've got a reputation to keep up, you're my writers!
Guilty of course. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.
In the worst possible taste...
Thanks chaps, much appreciated.
Always pleased to oblige count.d. 
First time he's jumped the gun.
I bet Oscar Pistorius' girlfriend regrets getting him socks for Valentine's Day now?
I think we are all jumping the gun and being unfair on Oscar. It cannot be the first time that a man has woken up legless on Valentine's Day shot across his girlfriends face whilst thinking it was somebody else......
SteveT
The investigation of the wrong meat being in the wrong products has led to an investigations of B&Q's floor coverings.
Apparently some has Lamb-in-it.
ATB from George