Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
That is indeed very funny (if you know the show.) thanks.
FG is possibly the least funny show on television.
Only if you don't have a sense of humour.
Tony!
Not bloomin' likely!
ATB from George
Although ironically, George has cloned himself more times than anyone else on the forum... ;-)
Dear Phil,
I suffer in a way I wish I did not. A deep insecurity that strikes when stress builds up. Currently my life stress is less than any time for the last thirty-three years [when I was eighteen], and I am settling to middle age quite nicely now.
I can try to hide myself for a while, but cannot change the essence for all that!
Sometimes innocent criticism of me can be devastating in its effect, but when I am in good condition, then it flows just like water off a duck's back ...
On a darker note - except it isn't - I am making my will again now my nephew and niece are both twenty one! No reason for an executor beyond them!
Neither comprehend music, so the CDs will be carted off to a charity shop no doubt!
ATB from George
George, you are an original. Let's just hope those CD's and ESL 57's stay where they are for many years to come.
What did the April Fool prankster send Beethoven?
A muted ear trumpet.
Good night all!
ATB from George
FG is possibly the least funny show on television.
You've not seen Miranda or Mrs Brown's Boys then, I take it?
That is indeed very funny (if you know the show.) thanks.
FG is possibly the least funny show on television.
If I knew a person like Peter Griffin in real life, I would love to see him die...horribly and very, very slowly.
FG has some jokes that are actually funny and only slightly embarrassing, but The Simpsons and Futurama are much funnier.
Dear Phil,
I suffer in a way I wish I did not.
We all do. It's la condition humaine.
That is indeed very funny (if you know the show.) thanks.
FG is possibly the least funny show on television.
If I knew a person like Peter Griffin in real life, I would love to see him die...horribly and very, very slowly.
FG has some jokes that are actually funny and only slightly embarrassing, but The Simpsons and Futurama are much funnier.
Agree completely.
Answers on a postcard please:
You can say what you like about the Rolling Stones, ............................. (Boom boom!)
(From the same blog as Tony's source I'm sure)
I thought they were great and would like to find a link to the whole performance. G
I thought they were great and would like to find a link to the whole performance. G
www.dimeadozen.org have the whole show seeding. It is a 16GB file and may take a few days!
Cheers. G
(with apologies...)
You're forgiven Tony.
I wish my writing was that good! 
ATB
Steve
Record Producer goes into a bar. Whilst there, he sees the piano player, playing out a fantastic tune, and playing it really well.
He approaches the player, and compliments him on his playing, and adds "What's the tune? I haven't heard it before".
The piano player replies; "It's one of my own".
The producer is really impressed. "You should get that recorded, it's really very good".
"Nah",says the player," I tried before, but it got turned down, because of the title".
"That's crazy", said the producer. "By the way, what's the title?"
"Every time my girlfriend kisses me, I c*me in my pants".
The police have been watching me.
Every breath I take, every move I make they've been watching me.
I think it's a Sting operation.
Record Producer goes into a bar. Whilst there, he sees the piano player, playing out a fantastic tune, and playing it really well.
He approaches the player, and compliments him on his playing, and adds "What's the tune? I haven't heard it before".
The piano player replies; "It's one of my own".
The producer is really impressed. "You should get that recorded, it's really very good".
"Nah",says the player," I tried before, but it got turned down, because of the title".
"That's crazy", said the producer. "By the way, what's the title?"
"Every time my girlfriend kisses me, I c*me in my pants".
Some time later
he turns up for the gig
and he's playing really badly, all over the place like Les Dawson
So the promoter asks him " what's wrong?"
He says "well I need a good w*nk to sort myself out before a gig"
The promoter gives him a jazz mag, he goes off and sorts himself out
He returns some time later and his playing is wonderful, the audience love it
His playing is majestic, the melody beautiful ........
he receives a standing ovation
he get's up to take a bow
and a lady from the front row says "Do you know, your knob's hanging out, dribbling sp*nk"
To which he replies "know it, I wrote it!"