Best Jokes (continues)

This made me laugh,its about sh1t,loads of it.

Turns out when all the whizz kids did the design work for the building of Dubai they left out one tiny thing in their design of all those wonderful new buildings.....ITS CALLED A SEWAGE SYSTEM.

In a nutshell they aint got one and  sewage has to be carted off in huge Tankers.

Go onto You Tube and in the search box type ....Dubai poop trucks,volume up,several videos of 100s of tankers all in a huge line waiting to offlload 1000s and 1000s of gallons of crap.Trucks q for over 24hrs.

Mista H

Mista, the story isn't quite what it's made out to be. Dubai has a very good sewage infrastructure but the sheer speed and scale of development did, at one point, outpace it.  From Hoax Slayer:

...in 2009, there were indeed significant problems with the city's sewage disposal systems. The city grew so rapidly in previous years that Dubai's existing sewage infrastructure was outpaced and was not able to cope effectively. Many newly developed areas and buildings were not linked to the piped system. Thus, waste had to be collected from thousands of septic tanks across the city and trucked to the area's only sewage treatment plant. Very long lines of  tankers formed, especially when the sewage plant reached capacity. Because of the long waits, some tanker drivers resorted to illegal dumping of their loads by roadways or in waterways.

However, later in 2009, the second sewage treatment plant became operational and this greatly alleviated the truck queuing issues and the illegal dumping. And, further development in subsequent years has continued to improve the city's sewage infrastructure.

Sounds like you have spent many months sunbathing on Dubai beaches Richard,but seeing all those trucks made me laugh.

Mista h

WHY SHARKS CIRCLE YOU BEFORE ATTACKING

2 Great White Sharks swiming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.Follow me said the father shark to his son,and they swam towards the mass of people. First we swim around them a few times with just the tips of our fins showing,and they did. Well done son. Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing,and they did.

Now we eat everbody and they did.  When they were both stuffed full the son asked,dad why did we not eat them all strait away? Why did we have to swim around them several times first?

His father replied,son they taste better without the shit inside.

Mista h

Elephants & Mobile phones

Hope this link works,make sure you watch video to the end

 www.liveleak.com/view?i=cf7_1356505998

Mista h

Sound on

    Very Jurassic park?

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens.
One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.

"What's the moral of that story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher.

Next, little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are Farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."

"That was a fine story Sarah." said the teacher. Michael, do you have a story to share?" asked the teacher.

"Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the f**k away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/hea...ight-depression.html

Indeed!

Why didn't they listen when we told them, all those years ago?

Tis a mystery. 

I'm sure we only had their best interests at heart. 

My wife collects unwanted junk from local men in return for letting them feel her breasts.

She calls it "tit for tat"

Not to get technical but according to chemistry Alcohol is a solution

I came in from work and said to my wife "are you ok?"

She said "I can't grumble"

I said "you could have fooled me !"

My young son asked me "what does Abomination mean?"

I replied "its something that North Korea want to do to South Korea"

That reminds me of 2 -

https://forums.naimaudio.com/to...61#27753937230143461

https://forums.naimaudio.com/to...79#27753937210342279

Well  what is it AdamAdam

https://forums.naimaudio.com/us...st/27613035016765859

https://forums.naimaudio.com/us...st/27613035016765859

https://forums.naimaudio.com/us...st/27613035016765859

It just gets funnier.

Some one must be getting repeat fees for this !!