Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 28 August 2013 by winkyincanada
Originally Posted by JRHardee:

The Onion nails it. Again.

Posted on: 28 August 2013 by Kevin-W

 Two of my favourite Onion spoof front pages from Our Dumb Century:

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/april-16-1912,10645/

 

http://members.shaw.ca/rlongpre01/moon.html

Posted on: 28 August 2013 by Kevin-W

And this is hilarious:

 

http://www.theonion.com/articl...by-business-c,33334/

 

Posted on: 28 August 2013 by TomK
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Someone change the tape please.

You start and the rest of us may follow.

Posted on: 28 August 2013 by TomK
Originally Posted by tonym:
Originally Posted by TomK:

What's thick skinned, has no sense of humour, and doesn't know when to stop posting shit unfunny jokes nicked from other unfunny sites?

.........

G'won Tom, tell us a funny Joke!

Tony there's no way I could compete with the comic geniuses already posting here.

Posted on: 28 August 2013 by Tony Lockhart
I'm going potholing with the kids this weekend.



Or going for a long drive as we used to call it.
Posted on: 29 August 2013 by mista h

Had to tone this down a bit lot to get past Richard

 

2 nuns sat at the traffic lights in their car,when a car load of rowdy young lads pulls up alongside them.

 

Oi,get your tits out you penguins,shouts one of the lads.

 

The Mother Superior turns to sister Immaculata,and says i dont think they know who we are......show them your cross.

 

So sister immaculata winds down her window and shouts !!  F- - -  off you little C- - - -  before i come over there and rip your balls off.

 

Mista H

Posted on: 29 August 2013 by rupert

A little old nun trying to cross a busy road ,She gets stuck in the middle an uncouth youth runs to her side gently guides her to the other side, The nun thanks him he tells her no problem any friend of batman is a friend of mine.

Posted on: 30 August 2013 by Tony Lockhart
The German chemist in Boots keeps trying to charge me for prescriptions for my diabetic kids insisting..



"You will pay for your insulins."
Posted on: 30 August 2013 by Noogle

Have you heard about the Sky's new Origami channel?  It's on paper view.

Posted on: 30 August 2013 by Cbr600

Mista H, here's another old nun joke

 

2 nuns sat in a bath.

1 says where's the soap?

the other says "yes, it does, doesn't it"

Posted on: 30 August 2013 by rupert

Two pregnant nuns one says it seems less than nine months since be  Benidictus,

Posted on: 30 August 2013 by Noogle

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week.  I phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.

 

Posted on: 31 August 2013 by BigH47

Spoof Pop Lyric for Today:

 

I've got the paints - you've got the books - let's fake lots of Monets - Paintshop Boys

Posted on: 01 September 2013 by tonym

Posted on: 01 September 2013 by Tony Lockhart

Which is Jim? 

 

Posted on: 01 September 2013 by Tony Lockhart
I accidentally killed my girfriend's chihuahua by feeding it a mars bar. She was devestated and said I was the most insensitive man she'd ever met. So, in an effort to ease her pain, I took her to a very expensive restaurant and let her order anything on the menu. I even surprised by having the waiter bring out her favourite dessert. Come to think of it "Death by Chocolate" probably wasn't such a good choice.
Posted on: 02 September 2013 by tonym

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by Richard Dane
Originally Posted by tonym:

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.

 

I love it!

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by Svetty

Does it do odd jobs around the house?

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by Reginald Halliday

If you don't want to speak to a German-speaking operator press 9

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by tonym

I have just returned from the hospital after a bowl of herbs I was carrying in the garden blew into my face.

The doctor has told me that I am now parsley sighted.

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by mista h
Originally Posted by Cbr600:

Mista H, here's another old nun joke

 

2 nuns sat in a bath.

1 says where's the soap?

the other says "yes, it does, doesn't it"

Hi

Alan should be back tue/wed,no doubt he will contact you then.

 

Kate

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by count.d
Originally Posted by tonym:

I bought a dog from the local blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.

Haha I'm going to nick this one Tony, thanks.

Posted on: 02 September 2013 by Tony Lockhart
Yesterday we lost David Frost, today we have lost David Jacobs.



David Cameron's in for a good night sleep...