Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
He was a legend.
America was not shut down properly.
Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without the guns? (Recommended)
steve
America was not shut down properly.
Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without the guns? (Recommended)
steve
:-), funny, although I think average people who are sitting at home now, will not be able to appreciate the deadlock...
Brilliant!
"She was beautiful." he said, tears rolling down his face. "She was my best friend, she was always up for a laugh. She even loved sex."
"I'm sorry," I said. "When did she pass away?"
"Oh, she not dead," he replied. "We got married."
SOME OF THE ARTISTS FROM THE 60s ARE REVISING THEIR HITS WITH NEW LYRICS
Bobby Darin
Splish,splash i was having a flash
Hermans Hermits
Mrs Brown youve got a loveley walker
The Bee Gees
How can i mend a broken hip
Roberta flack
The first time ever i forgot your face
Johnny Nash
I carnt see clearly now
Paul Simon
50 ways to lose your liver
The Commodores
Once,twice,three times to the bathroom
Procal Harem
A whiter shade of hair
Leo sayer
You make me feel like napping
The temptations
Papas got a kidney stone
Abba
Denture queen
Tony orlando
knock 3 times on the ceiling if you hear me fall
Leslie Gore
Its my procedure and ill cry if i want to
Willie nelson
On the commode again
Mista H
SOME OF THE ARTISTS FROM THE 60s ARE REVISING THEIR HITS WITH NEW LYRICS
The temptations
Papas got a kidney stone
A cat doesn't pretend to care about you.
A cat doesn't pretend to care about you.
A cat is known as a pussy, while Cameron is known as a c-nt.
Just been sent about 20 Jokes,here is a couple to see if they get passed Richard as i think half wont.
Mista h
Mi misses is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom and swapped her tampon for a party popper. She has no sense of humour.
10 catholic priests were killed in a road accident. At the pearly gates St peter says if any of you are paedophiles you can f_ _ _ off down to hell.9 of the priests start to walk away when St Peter shouts out.....and you can take the deaf bastard with you.
More to come if these get pasted Richard
My mate reckons he always cries after sex. Mind you.........he is in prison.
Mista h
A cat doesn't pretend to care about you.
A cat is known as a pussy, while Cameron is known as a c-nt.
A cat don't need Clegg to lick it's backside
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me i would come into some money. Last nite i had sex with a girl called Penny.........Spooky or what ?
mista h
I went to the pub last nite,and saw this fat tart dancing on the tables. I said....great legs!!
She giggles and says to me with a smile.....do you really think so!! I said definitely,most tables would have collapsed by now.
Mista h
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. Really!! she said. Go on then....try. After about 30 seconds of fondling her nipples she began to lose patience and said come on then what day was i born? I said yesterday.
Mista h
This ******* of a girl looked at my beer belly last nite and sarcastally said.....is that Fosters or Carlsberg? I said there is a tap underneath taste it and find out.
mista h
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The life guard shouted at me so loud,i almost fell in.
Mista h
I was talking to a girl at the bar last nite. She said to me,if you lost a few stone,had a shave,and got your haircut you would look alright. i said if i did that i would be talking to your friends over there instead of you.
Mista h
The wife said to me last nite......if you turn the bedroom lamp off,i will take it up the rear. Maybe i should have waited for the bulb to cool down first !!
Mista h
The wife came out the bathroom and said,i have just shaved my pussy,and you know what that means dont you !!
i said yes the bloody plug hole is blocked again.
Mista h
The missus asked me,when your on a boys only away trip do you think of me ? Apparantly only to stop myself coming to quickly was not the right answer.
Mista h