Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
* the introductory asterisk reminds customers of a snowflake alighting on the eyelash of a fawn
Genius.
G
She says it makes her armpits sore for days.
"Far too spicy," said one commentator.
This is a very funny festive thing.
If any of you has ever worked for, or in, a large global corporation, and been on the receiving end of a 'brand' presentation, I'm sure this will strike a chord and have you laughing out loud. If not then it is worth it for the Venn diagrams alone. Terrific.
http://www.quietroom.co.uk/santa_brandbook/one
That is very very good! G
Very good indeed.I love it.
I didn't enjoy looking at it, made me feel like i was back at work again! 
Double-barrelled surnames need thinking through before you sign the registry
Double-barrelled surnames need thinking through before you sign the registry
I always thought that Whoopi Goldberg should have married Peter Cushing. The name Whoopi Cushing would have sat well.
I've just taken the lead.
I've just taken the lead.
Watch out for coppers! : )
Double-barrelled surnames need thinking through before you sign the registry
Laugh out loud stuff! Thanks for that.
steve
Double-barrelled surnames need thinking through before you sign the registry
I always thought that Whoopi Goldberg should have married Peter Cushing. The name Whoopi Cushing would have sat well.
I was disappointed that Britney Spears and Cubby Broccoli didn't get together.
That's why I dissolved mine in an acid bath.
I call her my Tyrannosaurus Ex.
Cut the rope.
What's the difference between Spurs and Nelson Mandela?
One was buried in their home town the other day, and the other is Nelson Mandela.
I went to White Hart Lane yesterday, and noticed how green and lovely their pitch was. So i summoned over the groundsman and asked him what his secret was. His reply was:
“Well I do nothing, just every other Saturday or Sunday afternoon we put £100m worth of shit over the pitch and it works wonders.”
Ann Summers are to recall their new Tottenham Hotspur-branded vibrator, The Soldildo.
It never penetrates or goes anywhere near the box.
With the new John Deere Columbine Harvester.
I went to White Hart Lane yesterday, and noticed how green and lovely their pitch was. So i summoned over the groundsman and asked him what his secret was. His reply was:
“Well I do nothing, just every other Saturday or Sunday afternoon we put £100m worth of shit over the pitch and it works wonders.”
Nice one Kevin,just sent it on to a mate who is an Arsenal STH
Mista H
A magician worked on a cruise ship. Since the audience was different each week he did the same tricks over and over again.
There was one problem. The captain's parrot watched the show each week and began to understand how the magician performed each trick.
Once he understood he started shouting out in the middle of the show, "look its not the same hat!"' Or, "look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or, "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious, but there was nothing he could do. After all, it was the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost everyone who was on board.
The magician was one of the lucky ones who survived and found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean...as fate would have it with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but neither uttered a word.
This went on for a day...then another day...and a third day. Finally, on the fourth day the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"OK I give up. Where's the ****ing ship?"
Now showing in the West End:
"The Curious Incident of the Gods in the Sightline"
Now showing in the West End:
"The Curious Incident of the Gods in the Sightline"
Apparently a performance that brought the house down.