Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 05 January 2014 by Graham Hull
Reginald, your picture reminded me of this:
Posted on: 05 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
My wife has a peach of an arse.
Bruised and hairy.
Posted on: 06 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Manchester United were once the Goliath of English football, then along came David.....
Posted on: 06 January 2014 by Steve J
Tony,
You should be ashamed of yourself for that joke! 
There are some on this forum who will be deeply offended. 
You should have posted it on the Football thread.
The real joke is David Moyes. 
Steve
Posted on: 06 January 2014 by Reginald Halliday
'Much of Scotland's coastline still being battered.' They will literally deep fry anything won't they.
Posted on: 06 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 06 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
They say if you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, they would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare.
For now though, they've only managed The Daily Mail.
Posted on: 07 January 2014 by TWP
Posted on: 07 January 2014 by mista h
Originally Posted by TWP:
Brilliant
Posted on: 07 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
Because he's married.
Posted on: 08 January 2014 by tonym
Walking the dog -
Posted on: 09 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
7th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, England.
8th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, Virginia.
I can't help but think they are taking the whole twin town thing way too seriously.
Posted on: 09 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
7th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, England.
8th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, Virginia.
I can't help but think they are taking the whole twin town thing way too seriously.
Posted on: 09 January 2014 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
7th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, England.
8th January 2014 - Helicopter crashes in Norfolk, Virginia.
I can't help but think they are taking the whole twin town thing way too seriously.
Meanwhile. Norfolk island in the Pacific are holding a summit and have sent a helicopter to fetch David Cameron. Here's hoping.....
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
My girlfriend reminds me of Easter.
She has hot buns .... and is usually cross.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Hannoball
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Eh?
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Steve J
Originally Posted by tonym:
Walking the dog -
I see this picture made the front page of The Mail today.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
As long as you didn't actually buy the Mail......
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Steve J
Don't buy newspapers. I read everybody else's.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures.
Girl goes to Starbucks: 47 pictures.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I got caught stealing endangered birds' eggs recently.
I'm really nervous. Up before the beak on Monday.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I pulled a gypsy bird last night, and she asked me if I wanted to go back to hers for a good time. She wasn't bloody kidding. I went on the dodgems, waltzers, ghost train and came home with a goldfish.
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Speeding along at 60, there was a buzz from my mobile on the dashboard.
"Your phone just went." said my wife.
"Its only a text." I replied. "I'll check it when we get there."
She picked up the phone, and looked at it suspiciously. Then she tapped the screen, scrolled down and started reading.
"I thought so." she sneered. "It's yet another crap joke from Dave about women being bad drivers."
"Watch the bloody road!" I snapped. "You just ran a red light."
Posted on: 10 January 2014 by naim_nymph
Originally Posted by Steve J:
Originally Posted by tonym:
Walking the dog -
I see this picture made the front page of The Mail today.
The Mail?
Must be an illegal immigrant coming ashore.
