Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 07 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I was chatting to a girl in the pub.

"Are you going commando tonight?" I asked.

"Yes," she giggled, "How could you tell?"

I replied "Because you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger."
Posted on: 07 March 2014 by winkyincanada
Originally Posted by Richard S:

Heads, shoulders......

 

I love it! Thank you Tony.

I don't get it.

Posted on: 07 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Say what you see, say what you see.
Posted on: 07 March 2014 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by winkyincanada:
 

OK. Moderately funny.

 

But my main concern was that this stupid woman apparently drives around with her dogs on the front seat of her car, creating a hazard for herself, her dogs and other road users. She obviously doesn't think it is an issue.

 

Maybe this is a better way:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub1Dc3NHZ3s

Posted on: 08 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
What is the average maths teacher like?



Mean.
Posted on: 08 March 2014 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
What is the average maths teacher like?



Mean.

Average.

Posted on: 08 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Why did the chicken cross the waŵater park?

To get to the other slide.
Posted on: 08 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
A Malaysian airliner disappears into thin air.



Your move, David Blane.
Posted on: 08 March 2014 by Jonn
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Why did the chicken cross the waŵater park?

To get to the other slide.

Why did the chicken kill itself?

 

 

To get to the other side.

Posted on: 09 March 2014 by mista h

When we used to do Bike shows we always made sure we had a few cans of this stuff with us.

 

Posted on: 09 March 2014 by tonym

Posted on: 09 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
After 20 years of marriage, I've learned an important lesson.

Flowers and an apology are a lot easier than actually changing.
Posted on: 10 March 2014 by mista h

Do you also like to start new regimes on a Monday?

Posted on: 10 March 2014 by Reginald Halliday

I was in a pub in Wales last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy." 

I replied "Have you got a pen?"
She smiled and said "Yes."

I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing." 

Posted on: 10 March 2014 by MDS
Originally Posted by Reginald Halliday:

I was in a pub in Wales last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy." 

I replied "Have you got a pen?"
She smiled and said "Yes."

I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing." 

Excellent, Reg. I'm definitely going to steal this one.

Posted on: 10 March 2014 by TWP
Originally Posted by Jonn:
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Why did the chicken cross the waŵater park?

To get to the other slide.

Why did the chicken kill itself?

 

 

To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

 

To see the man laying bricks

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: 10 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Midwife For Sale: Will deliver.
Posted on: 11 March 2014 by mista h

Photo: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on: 11 March 2014 by mista h

Photo: Can you think of anyone you would like to buy this for?

Posted on: 12 March 2014 by mista h

Photo: One of my favorite father-child moments...

Posted on: 12 March 2014 by Reginald Halliday

Posted on: 12 March 2014 by mista h

 

What did you used to spend your pocket money on?

What did you used to spend your pocket money on?
Posted on: 12 March 2014 by Tony Lockhart
For all those who are sad that Crufts is over, don't worry.



Paracrufts starts in 2 weeks.
Posted on: 12 March 2014 by mista h


WHY GOD MADE PETS

They help out 
around the house...

[]

Posted on: 12 March 2014 by Paper Plane

Roses are red

Violets are glorious

Do not creep up

On Oscar Pistorious

 

steve