Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 11 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Artist's impression of Rolf Harris in court.
Posted on: 12 May 2014 by Bananahead
So this guy is taking his girlfriend to the high school prom. And he's got a lot of work to do.
First he has to rent a tux, so he goes to the tuxedo store. But there's a huge tuxedo line at the store. Finally he gets out of there and realizes he has to go buy a corsage, so he goes to a florist. But there's this big long corsage line at the florist. Finally he gets the corsage and has his tux and he's gotta go rent a limo. But there's this huge line when he gets to the limo place.
Finally after waiting and making all the arrangements, it's the night of the prom. He picks her up and takes her down there to get in, but there's this huge ticket line at the door. Finally they get in and they start dancing and having fun, and she says to him, "I'm hungry," so he goes to get her some food, but there's this huge buffet line. He gets her some food and they eat and they're dancing again and she says, "Now I'm thirsty, can you get me a drink?" So he goes to get her a drink and there's no punchline.
Posted on: 12 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Not a joke, but a pic from a friend. It made me chuckle then wince. It's in a museum in Maldon, Essex, that displays equipment used by spies and special forces.
Tasty
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
My giraffe costume only got me second place at a recent fancy dress competition.
At least I can still hold my head high.
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by steven2907
Had a right go at the wife yesterday... It looks like she got the dogs medication wrong and that's what killed him. She says she didn't but I think she gave him Viagra. As he was dead stiff when I got home.
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by mista h
Mayor of London Boris Johnson is to make a cameo appearance on EastEnders.
So yet another thick bumbling blonde with big tits, to add to the cast list…
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by mista h
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by crustycottage
Veet for Men review. This was emailed to me 2 years ago and is actually a review on Amazon. Funniest email ever IMHO
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by Stevee_S
Originally Posted by crustycottage:
Veet for Men review. This was emailed to me 2 years ago and is actually a review on Amazon. Funniest email ever IMHO
Fantastic! I too got that e-mail years ago. Laughing out loud once again as I read it. If you fancy more of the same comments about Veet it is still running on Amazon with some 800 replies in a similar vein here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-M...eywords=veet+for+men
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by Sniper
Posted on: 13 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
My English teacher in school used to get mad at me over my incorrect use of the colon
Apparently you're not supposed to stick a fountain pen up there.
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by jjbomber
Why did the chickens cross the M62?
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by Maxi Me
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
My English teacher in school used to get mad at me over my incorrect use of the colon
Apparently you're not supposed to stick a fountain pen up there.
You obviously went to the wrong kind of school!
Which way you take that will depend on the type of school you actually went to 
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I really don't think they should let that reporter Nick Childs report on the missing Nigerian girls.
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I really don't think they should let that reporter Nick Childs report on the missing Nigerian girls.
They said on Sky News that the Nigerian schoolgirls had been split. That's a bit crude for daytime TV.
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by Stevee_S
A man walks into the doctors surgery and says "I've got a strawberry stuck in my bum"
The doctor says "OK I've got some cream for that"
Posted on: 14 May 2014 by mista h
Room for 2 more on top !!
Posted on: 15 May 2014 by mista h
We have a(mashed) spud problem !!
Posted on: 15 May 2014 by hungryhalibut
A skeleton walks into the bar and says to the barman, 'I'd like a pint of beer and a mop'.
Posted on: 16 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Enjoy your weekend!
Hahaha
Posted on: 16 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Confucius say.....
Man who go to bed with sex in mind, wake up with solution in hand.
Posted on: 16 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
What goes "Ooo Ooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Posted on: 16 May 2014 by Komet
Confucius say.....
Woman who travels on aeroplane upside down ends with crack up.
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by joerand
Just piss on it a few times. A little negative reinforcement can go a long way.
