Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
If I ever end up on a life support machine: unplug me, then plug me back in, and see if that works.
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by Martin_C
Confuscius say:
Man who go out with flat-chested woman has reason to feel down.
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by tonym
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
A policeman stops Paddy and Mick and says "I need to talk to you about Operation Yewtree."
Paddy say "But there's only two of us."
Posted on: 17 May 2014 by joerand
"Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?"
Posted on: 18 May 2014 by tonym
I complained to my doctor that my bollocks were hurting this morning.
"I can see the problem," he said, as I stood there in my pants, "Ric', you've got 4-5 years."
"How can you tell just by looking?" I asked.
He said, "It's written on the label."
Posted on: 18 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I bought some astro turf off of Gotye the other day.
Now it's just a garden that I used to mow.
Posted on: 18 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I'm sexy"
I then wait at green lights til I feel better about myself.
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Kevin-W
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Oh my. I like that, I'm gonna steal it.
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Feel free. I stole it, as I'm usually reminded a few times each year....
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
My wife slipped on a cheese slice this morning and broke her hip.
It was hilarious. Even the cow on the front of the packet was laughing.
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I'm already bored with my time machine, and I've only had it a year.
Probably won't bother getting it.
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
My wife slipped on a cheese slice this morning and broke her hip.
It was hilarious. Even the cow on the front of the packet was laughing.
That was bad Tony.............and this is worse.
Mexican, Englishman, American A Mexican, Englishman, and an Americarn are in a bar having drinks. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, Woman: Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can date me for tonight. Englishman: I love liver and cheese! Woman: That’s not good enough! American: I hate liver and cheese! Woman: That’s not creative! Mexican: Liver alone, cheese mine!
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
A posh Khazi
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
This is interesting......if it works
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
Your doing a great job buddy,keep it up !!
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
Does anyone recognise any of this kit....is it Hi-Fi or home theatre ?
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
This is nice !!
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
I think the American judicial system has treated Abu Hamza very unfairly, so I'm organizing a demonstration. Please print your banners with the following slogan.
HANDS OFF ABU HAMZA
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by MDS
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I think the American judicial system has treated Abu Hamza very unfairly, so I'm organizing a demonstration. Please print your banners with the following slogan.
HANDS OFF ABU HAMZA
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by mista h
Originally Posted by Tony2011:
i THINK THIS GUY WILL NEED A LOO PDQ,HE HAS ABOUT 1 MEGASECOND TO GET HIS FRONT WHEEL STRAIT.
Posted on: 20 May 2014 by Sniper
Originally Posted by mista h:
i THINK THIS GUY WILL NEED A LOO PDQ,HE HAS ABOUT 1 MEGASECOND TO GET HIS FRONT WHEEL STRAIT.
A megasecond (symbol: Ms) is 1 million seconds, or roughly 11.6 days.
Posted on: 21 May 2014 by Tony Lockhart
Every time I go on a march, I get pepper sprayed by the police.
I'm now a seasoned campaigner.
