Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
i THINK THIS GUY WILL NEED A LOO PDQ,HE HAS ABOUT 1 MEGASECOND TO GET HIS FRONT WHEEL STRAIT.
A megasecond (symbol: Ms) is 1 million seconds, or roughly 11.6 days.
Furthermore, A strait is a naturally formed, narrow, typically navigable waterway that connects two larger bodies of water.
''i THINK' obviously doesn't apply.
Who would have thought that mista h would cause so much hilarity
Yeah, 11,6 days
Awesome.
x2
x 3!
steve
Every girl I go out with leaves me, saying I'm 'too thick for them'.
Every girl I go out with leaves me, saying I'm 'too thick for them'.
That reminds me of one I heard earlier - I don't follow that thread religiously so I have no idea whether this is old hat - sorry
My wife phoned me for some phone sex.
She asked, "What part of me would you like to touch?" I replied, "The sides."
Simon Andrews at Oulton Park a few weeks ago weeks ago......he is now dead
Mista h
Well it probably is the way you do it CW 
Simon Andrews at Oulton Park a few weeks ago weeks ago......he is now dead
Mista h
So you posted a photo of a recently deceased man to get a cheap laugh?
Simon Andrews at Oulton Park a few weeks ago weeks ago......he is now dead
Mista h
So you posted a photo of a recently deceased man to get a cheap laugh?
At the time of my original post i did not know he was dead. He did not dye from his crash at Oulton Park. From what i have been told he got up and walked away from that. he crashed a few days ago at the North West 200 road circuit.
Mista h
The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for the one you love.
Such as your local priest?
steve
Eurovision: Austria
Champions League: Real Madrid
La Liga: Atletico
World Cup: England
2014
Eurovision: Austria
Champions League: Real Madrid
La Liga: Atletico
World Cup: Come on, be serious! Its not going to be bloody England!
Political Thought for Today:
So far we have had the Bronze Age, Iron Age & the Stone Age, but the most backward age is now the Far age .
Political Thought for Today:
So far we have had the Bronze Age, Iron Age & the Stone Age, but the most backward age is now the Farage .
Love it BigH47!
Mind you, we were walking down a dark alley, and it did look like I was with a great big bloke.
Reading 1984 is Orwell and good.
Reading 1984 is Orwell and good.
Oh! Me like!
THE CURRENT BANKING CRISIS EXPLAINED
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The
donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with
that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and
made a profit of £998'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two pounds back.'
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland
"Excuse me," I said. "The whole bus doesn't want to hear your conversation."
"Chill out man," she replied. "I is jus' rappin' wiv me bro innit?"
I felt really guilty. If I'd known she had learning difficulties I wouldn't have mentioned it.
Manchester United's share price has dropped 0.3%.
Oh, and grandad died too.
THE CURRENT BANKING CRISIS EXPLAINED
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The
donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with
that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and
made a profit of £998'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two pounds back.'
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland
Brilliant!
Featuring Piers Morgan and Joey Barton.