Naim Audio Forum Archive

Posted on: 03 October 2014 by George J

Did you you here about the man who came from Norwich, and one day went to Ipswich? He died.

They say he suffocated ...

ATB from George

Posted on: 03 October 2014 by BigH47

Hear hear!

Posted on: 04 October 2014 by George J

Germaine Greere on homosexuality:

"The bi-sexual is merely a greedy homosexual."

Many a true word is said in jest.

ATB from George

Posted on: 05 October 2014 by mista h

Other half is an A and its drives me bonkers.

Posted on: 05 October 2014 by Tony Lockhart

IKEA is unveiling furniture you can assemble in less than 5 minutes. It's called the "You Just Need to Shut the **** Up While I Figure This Out" line.

Posted on: 05 October 2014 by Paper Plane

Originally Posted by mista h:

Other half is an A and its drives me bonkers.

Mine's a B and I couldn't give a toss either way.

steve

Posted on: 05 October 2014 by Ebor

Well, I could give a toss, and B is clearly the only sane answer to this particular ergonomic question. A drives me to distraction, in a situation where I need as much serenity as possible.

Mark

Posted on: 05 October 2014 by George J

I prefer the vertical toilet roll holders ...

Posted on: 06 October 2014 by BigH47

I do like a Twix. It's much better than its 8 predecessors.

The Twviii wasn't too bad though .

Posted on: 07 October 2014 by tonym

I met a dyslexic Yorkshireman today.

He was wearing a cat flap.

Posted on: 07 October 2014 by mista h

According to a TV commentator today, there is "Nothing more painful than going out of Wimbledon live on TV."
That's an absurd exaggeration - what about a paper cut on the bell end?

Posted on: 07 October 2014 by jjbomber

Originally Posted by mista h:

what about a paper cut on the bell end?

Just change from magazines to internet porn - problem solved!!!

Posted on: 07 October 2014 by Big Bill

Originally Posted by jjbomber:

Originally Posted by mista h:

what about a paper cut on the bell end?

Just change from magazines to internet porn - problem solved!!!

Good to see some sensible and practical advice on this forum.

Posted on: 07 October 2014 by Tony Lockhart

"Did you hear that Trotters Independent Traders have relocated to the East Coast of the USA?"

"Delaware?"

"He bloody organised it!"

Posted on: 08 October 2014 by Big Bill

Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:

"Did you hear that Trotters Independent Traders have relocated to the East Coast of the USA?"

"Delaware?"

"He bloody organised it!"

Oh dear!

Posted on: 08 October 2014 by mista h

Following news of claims for moat cleaning, bbq sets, swimming pool boiler servicing and 'general repairs, stable etc', has anyone else noticed that there haven't been any of those DSS ads for 'benefit fraudsters' lately?

Posted on: 08 October 2014 by mista h

I no longer want to become an MP.
I mean if you cannot get your moat cleaned on expenses what is the point?

Posted on: 09 October 2014 by Reginald Halliday

I went to my allotment last week and found that someone had covered it
with with 2 inches of soil.
I went again today only to find it covered with another 2 inches of soil.

The plot thickens....

Posted on: 09 October 2014 by Kevin-W

Originally Posted by Reginald Halliday:

I went to my allotment last week and found that someone had covered it
with with 2 inches of soil.
I went again today only to find it covered with another 2 inches of soil.

The plot thickens....

Oh my. That's decent, really rather decent.

Posted on: 10 October 2014 by Richard S

Reg

I doff my hat to you sir. Your jokes are consistently excellent.

(It also means all my friends think I'm very witty when I repeat them)

Posted on: 10 October 2014 by mista h

Just been sent these........and they are dreadful.

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words ...

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ...

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilet seats in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.

· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro !!! - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. The details are sketchy.

Posted on: 10 October 2014 by Tony Lockhart

Everyone at work has found out I'm shagging a supermodel.

Because I told them.

Posted on: 10 October 2014 by winkyincanada

Originally Posted by mista h:

Just been sent these........and they are dreadful.

· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words ...

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ...

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilet seats in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.

· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro !!! - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. The details are sketchy.

The brake fluid one is funny.

Posted on: 11 October 2014 by mista h

Just been sent this,trying to work out the location !!

Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007