Best Jokes (continues)

I once met a transvestite from near Manchester.
He had a Wigan Address.

What's brown and slippery?

My decline into hopeless old age.

Oddly - a 2nd childhood as Pirelli slippers were a feature of my early youth.

(Spellcheck wanted 'Pirelli' to be 'Trellis' - which would be amusing (to some)).

You should be ashamed!

Was it in Scotland?

Why? Do you have a Wigan address Bill? 

Lol, took me a while

Well one dress is never enough!  You have to have a little black number for starts and if you could see me you would realise how well I suit a little black dress.  Then there is summer wear, holiday dresses.

But only the one syrup!

By far the most interesting job I've ever had was in a metal fabrication shop. It was riveting.

Its hard to say what my girlfriend's does for a living.

She sells seashells on the sea shore.

How absurdly poignant this was to prove to be. RIP.

'Je suis Charlie' as they say.

Steve Bell of The Grauniad:

"We've got to stand up for the right to take the piss out of these monsters, these idiots, these fools, these posturing maniacs who strut around in their black gear as a kind of death cult trying to frighten us all."

'Je suis Charlie' as they say.

Me too.

Nothing I can add 

+1

steve

But you'd be huge, wouldn't you?

Oh, I get it, it's that monetary/weight unit thing between the US and England

I wonder how well Mr Main's career panned out?

Now he (Ian Main) should be ashamed!

I have to say I laughed like a drain from the first minute of Fawlty Towers that I watched and I laugh like the proverbial water removal device if I watch any episode again and again etc.

Good call Ian!

A pity Bell's cartoon today was a bit feeble.

Matt's "Careful, they might have pens" one in the Torygraph this morning was better I think.

Best of all would have been to reprint  one of the Danish ones that Charlie Hebdo did. Some German papers did today, but I guess our papers have been cowed.

Yes Tony, he's so well-known and respected today, isn't he? That one's up there with Dick "Guitar groups are on their way out, Mr. Epstein" Rowe of Decca turning down The Beatles. Although at least Rowe went on to the Stones.

Why do aeroplanes have retractable undercarriages?

So they don't freeze their wheel nuts off.

ATB from George

George, your jokes are terrible. Keep up the good work!

The strong US exchange rate means Naim prices will go down when the next price change happens.

Exactly! (from the current Private Eye)