Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Some might argue that parts of it already are
No, I don't get that joke.
Lionel... mate, you're just not funny; or original.
Post some NEW material and not old 1950's style jokes. Have you tried carbon dating the stuff you copy? That one was around before Vietnam (look it up) and wasn't much cop then
Obviously too difficult for you all this, Lionel. You've just copied Tony's comment from yesterday.
what's the difference between P.M.T & B.S.E?
Well, one attacks the cow's brain and causes it to become completely mad.
The other is an agricultural problem.
Obviously too difficult for you all this, Lionel. You've just copied Tony's comment from yesterday.
No, I still don't get your humour. You do know that this thread is for jokes? You do know what a joke is?
Go on, tell us a rib tickler.....
Stephen. That one was first heard in 1987 when BSE reached its peak. It hasn't improved with age
I'm sorry if this is all too subtle for you. Here's an easier one.
"Lionel thinks he's original, clever and funny"
"Oh, he's funny all right"
Copyright John Cleese 1967
I'm sorry if this is all too subtle for you. Here's an easier one.
"Lionel thinks he's original, clever and funny"
"Oh, he's funny all right"
Copyright John Cleese 1967
Well, at least you are trying etc...
So, how about something funny rather than petty abuse?
Gentlemen
What is it? Roughly 11:00 p.m. GMT? Why not sleep on it. Maybe things will look better in the morning.
Never lose your sense of humour. (in a Bruce Lee voice)
(Serious Lee) I was trying to lighten things up. 
Pots and kettles come to mind
About as sharp as a marble.
Ay, Damn it, time for bed...
Surprised your Mums allow you up this late. But no school tomorrow
Ok DAD .
There was a silence, followed by a cold, hard look in her eyes.
I guess I should have asked before trying her clothes on.
I'm sorry if this is all too subtle for you. Here's an easier one.
"Lionel thinks he's original, clever and funny"
"Oh, he's funny all right"
Copyright John Cleese 1967
Well, at least you are trying etc...
So, how about something funny rather than petty abuse?
Yeah can we stick to the jokes please and if we find something too sick or offensive then please just ignore it. You are both adults after all.
MI5 got a tip off that there was a Russian "sleeper" living on the Abertawe Road in Swansea. All they knew was the sleeper's name was Jones, that almost every resident or family on the Abertawe Road was called Jones, but there was a code phrase that might identify the sleeper. The phrase was "the sun sets red over Swansea tonight".
So MI5 despatched a junior officer to investigate. He knocked at 8 houses occupied by Jones and used the key phrase. No one showed any indication that the phrase was significant.
Asking at the 9th house whether " the sun sets red over Swansea tonight" meant anything, Mr Jones thought for a moment then said " No, but you might try Jones the spy at number 83...."
MI5 got a tip off that there was a Russian "sleeper" living on the Abertawe Road in Swansea. All they knew was the sleeper's name was Jones, that almost every resident or family on the Abertawe Road was called Jones, but there was a code phrase that might identify the sleeper. The phrase was "the sun sets red over Swansea tonight".
So MI5 despatched a junior officer to investigate. He knocked at 8 houses occupied by Jones and used the key phrase. No one showed any indication that the phrase was significant.
Asking at the 9th house whether " the sun sets red over Swansea tonight" meant anything, Mr Jones thought for a moment then said " No, but you might try Jones the spy at number 83...."
No doubt paper plane and the racism police will be along to ban that, but until they do...
Police in Swansea today found a dead horse in Aberdyberthi Street. They couldn't spell that so they dragged it into Vivian Street instead.
In a recent survey carried out for a leading toiletries firm (Brut), people from Chicago proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, 81% of Chicago inner city residents said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower.
The other 19 % said they hadn't been to prison yet.
MI5 got a tip off that there was a Russian "sleeper" living on the Abertawe Road in Swansea
Or should that be the Swansea Road in Abertawe boyo?
The MoD have invented a new intelligent guided missile.
It always lands on Swansea.
The MoD have invented a new intelligent guided missile.
It always lands on Swansea.........
..... but still does less damage to the City than the local council.