Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 01 March 2015 by Chris Dolan
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by Big Bill
Originally Posted by jjbomber:
Originally Posted by Noogle:
The MoD have invented a new intelligent guided missile.
It always lands on Swansea.........
..... but still does less damage to the City than the local council.
Yeah I used to have a guided missile like that.
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by rodwsmith
Have you heard about the new French Missile?
It's called the 'Fonctionnaire'
It doesn't work, and you can't fire it.
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by tonym
I stuck my donor card in the atm by mistake.
Cost me an arm and a leg.
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by Steve J
I like that. 
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by Clay Bingham
Originally Posted by Steve J:
I like that.
Agreed. That was good.
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
The wife says she wants a repeat of the last time we made love, on the floor, in front of the tv.
Where the hell do I find a twelve inch black and white Visiolux in this day and age?
Posted on: 02 March 2015 by JSH
Originally Posted by Clay Bingham:
Originally Posted by Steve J:
I like that.
Agreed. That was good.
Yes; and new
Posted on: 03 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.
Posted on: 03 March 2015 by Kevin-W
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.
Oh my. That is really, really good.
Posted on: 03 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Mother to her adopted child:
"Don't put your fingers in your mouth, you don't know where they came from."
Posted on: 04 March 2015 by JSH
Originally Posted by Kevin-W:
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.
Oh my. That is really, really good.
Brilliant
Posted on: 04 March 2015 by Paper Plane
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.
Excellent!
steve
Posted on: 04 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Me and my girlfriend did it on a weighbridge last night.
Now THAT'S sex on an industrial scale.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by Daveas
A racing snail is not winning races anymore. So the owner decided to take
it's shell off to reduce it's weight and make him more aerodynamic. It
didn't work, if anything it made him more sluggish.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by count.d
Nice one Daveas. Just nicked that.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by Daveas
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by rodwsmith
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
My girlfriend asked if I'd ever knocked one out while texting.
"Yes," I admitted, "and I almost knocked over a cyclist.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by TOBYJUG
I saw a magic tractor the other day. It turned into a field.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by jjbomber
A garland will be dropped into the sea on Sunday to mark the first anniversary of missing Malaysia MH370.
Exactly where it will be dropped is anyone's guess.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by count.d
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I taught my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.
Cheers Tony. I'll nick this in about 4 years time.
Posted on: 05 March 2015 by TOBYJUG
I saw a brilliant farmer the other day. He was outstanding in his field.
Posted on: 06 March 2015 by Tony Lockhart
The wife carried me on her back for half a mile down Blackpool beach today.
Or so you'd think, if you saw how deep her footprints were.
Posted on: 08 March 2015 by BigH47
Retro Pop Thought for Today:-
Seems foolish to build a city on rock 'n roll if you ask me.
Personally I'd have used The Foundations .
