Best Jokes (continues)

An extract from Hillary Clinton's autobiography, 'The Truth Will Always Prevail'. To be released soon…

"Some years ago, nearing dinner time at the White House, our regular cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice.

He wasn't the smartest looking guy, in fact he seemed a bit dirty.

Bill voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.

"Just before the meal, Bill noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief Of Staff,

but he was assured that many Chefs did that.

"Dinner went okay, although Bill thought that the soup tasted a little funny.

By the time dessert came, he started to have stomach cramps and nausea.

It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself.

"By now, he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember

which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found

a door that opened.

"As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's

office with his trousers around his knees.

As he was about to pass out, this naive girl bent over him and heard President Clinton whisper in a barely audible voice:

"Sack my cook"

"And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred."

Like that Tony.

...now Kraft, though that rather spoils the joke.

Not even Kraft any more - now Mondelez International, which spoils the joke even more!

It would be nice to think that the senior management at Mondelez International gave the senior management at Kraft assurances that they would all keep their jobs..........and then sacked them.  What goes arounds comes around, as they say. 

Actually Heinz are about to take over Kraft and get rid of their senior management. 

You misunderstand and reading my post again I can see why.  I was not complaining that the jokes were all old joke - by Jove no I would be the last person to complain about old jokes.  No what I mean is that I get an email telling me there is a post in this thread but recently when I hit the link the post is not here.  In fact the link takes me to page 1 of the thread.

Have to say that today seems fine though.

So you didn't realise that Apple products aren't compatible with anything else on planet Earth?

The Brazilian Beauty Contest is not inherently dangerous, but the winner did have a close shave...

And you've been waxing lyrical about it.

You're splitting hairs now!

Better splitting hairs than spitting them!

Pubic hair. Nature's dental floss.

Ah, understood 

Most thankfully, I've never encountered any long, straight, or strong enough to consider for floss