Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 21 April 2015 by GraemeH
Originally Posted by joerand:
Originally Posted by MarkJH:

"That's very observant of you, we keep Mr Clarkson's clock in the kitchen, we use it as a fan!"

I'm relieved to hear that there's a kitchen in heaven, wasn't sure if souls had a need to eat. Just hope they make more there than communion wafers.

I just hope they do hot food after 9:00pm...

 

G

Posted on: 21 April 2015 by Richard S

Posted on: 22 April 2015 by rodwsmith

Q. How do you upset Heather Mills?

A. Nick Clegg

Posted on: 22 April 2015 by jjbomber

During his entrance exam, a police recruit was asked:  "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" 

He replied: "Call for backup."

Posted on: 22 April 2015 by JSH
?????????
 
Originally Posted by rodwsmith:

Q. How do you upset Heather Mills?

A. Nick Clegg

 

Posted on: 22 April 2015 by JamieWednesday

Think:

 

 

Nick Clegg

Posted on: 22 April 2015 by JSH
Ok; got it now.  Bit contrived though
 
Originally Posted by JamieWednesday:

Think:

 

 

Nick Clegg

 

Posted on: 25 April 2015 by Tony Lockhart
I can't afford to take my wife to watch the Grand Prix.

So I'll buy a crate of lager and stand on the side of the motorway for two hours.
Posted on: 25 April 2015 by Tony2011
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
I can't afford to take my wife to watch the Grand Prix.

So I'll buy a crate of lager and stand on the side of the motorway for two hours.

 

 

Tony, get a horse instead. You'll enjoy a lot more!

 

Posted on: 25 April 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Is that instead of the wife or the lager?
Posted on: 25 April 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Looks like there could be up to 70 Brits missing in the Nepal Earthquake that has killed over 1800 people.

We better start taking this seriously.
Posted on: 26 April 2015 by TOBYJUG

  Saw this on the menu in a Dublin hotel

 

  Gerry Adams Madeira Chicken'.

Posted on: 26 April 2015 by JSH
Indeed, Tony though I can't see Rupert Murdoch bothering much; it's a poor country so he won't be able to rip out more TV rights.
But if every Naim owner donated £10 - two weeks Spotify - to the Relief Fund it would help fellow human beings a great deal
 
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Looks like there could be up to 70 Brits missing in the Nepal Earthquake that has killed over 1800 people.

We better start taking this seriously.

 

Posted on: 26 April 2015 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by JSH:
 
But if every Naim owner donated £10 - two weeks Spotify - 

You're being done - the rest of us are paying £9.99 a month!!!

Posted on: 27 April 2015 by JSH
You're a wit aren't you?
 
Originally Posted by jjbomber:
Originally Posted by JSH:
 
But if every Naim owner donated £10 - two weeks Spotify - 

You're being done - the rest of us are paying £9.99 a month!!!

 

Posted on: 27 April 2015 by Richard S

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by count.d

Can't believe there's no duck jokes yet.

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by ChrisSU
Originally Posted by count.d:

Can't believe there's no duck jokes yet.

You'd better start an English cricket thread, then.

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by JamieWednesday

Bit sad though and cancer, remission, cancer again's not very funny I guess. Mind, with Orville on his arm, I suppose he was always feeling down.

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by GraemeH

Concerned that Orville's apparent lethargy was due to an over consumption of E's doctors performed an autopsy, only to find a set of mechanical levers that were otherwise completely armless.

 

Has Orville died btw?

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by Paper Plane

Has Orville died btw?

 

That would certainly be the up side of the equation if true...

 

steve

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by jjbomber
Originally Posted by GraemeH

 Has Orville died btw?

 

I bet Keith Harris had a hand in it.

Posted on: 28 April 2015 by Steve J
Originally Posted by count.d:

Can't believe there's no duck jokes yet.

That would be disrespectful......... to Adam

Posted on: 29 April 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Daily Mail Online: Masturbation may help prevent the common cold.


Hope so. I've got no tissues left.
Posted on: 29 April 2015 by Paper Plane
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Daily Mail Online: Masturbation may help prevent the common cold.


Hope so. I've got no tissues left.

Classic!

 

steve