Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 05 June 2015 by Southweststokie
Originally Posted by Stevee_S:
Hampton Court?
No its just these tight new jeans!
Now that I like!
Posted on: 06 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
UEFA have said the world should concentrate on tonight's Champions League final, and remember the good side of football.
They added "It is one of the highlights of world football and a tight game is expected, which Barcelona will win 3-0 with Messi to score first."
Posted on: 06 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 06 June 2015 by TOBYJUG
The "Has Beans" coffee company has released a new type of coffee.
The Depresso.
Posted on: 10 June 2015 by BigH47
My friend: 'You know, the hole thingie with the buckety, water... oh, you know.'
Bless him. I know he means well.
Posted on: 10 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
How to cook the correct amount of pasta:
1. Pour out how much you think you need.
2. Wrong.
Posted on: 13 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 13 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Driving home today, my wife was boasting about how good women are at multi-tasking, and how there's "No two things a man can do simultaneously that a woman can't".
I just sat there, scratching my balls as I reversed onto the driveway.
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by Steve J
That's right Tony. I was only saying to the Missus the other day that we men can multitask. Every morning we can clean our teeth, have a pee and spray the toilet seat at the same time, and if we want to, have a good fart too.
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
.......while checking emails and the latest sport on a smartphone.
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by elkman70
The Sun has printed a full page tribute to Christopher Lee but he didn't appear in The Mirror.
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by MDS
Originally Posted by elkman70:
The Sun has printed a full page tribute to Christopher Lee but he didn't appear in The Mirror.
excellent! 
Posted on: 14 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
I got home and my wife was crying,
"Whatever is the matter? "I asked.
"It's your constant piss taking about my weight, " she replied.
So I went out and bought her a box of chocolates to cheer her up. And a cream cake. And some crisps. And a kebab. And two bottles of wine. And some sweets.
Posted on: 15 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Posted on: 15 June 2015 by JamieWednesday
CROSS EYED TEACHER RESIGNS AFTER FAILING TO CONTROL HIS PUPILS
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by JSH
Sorry, Tony. Looked at this three times and still don't get it.
Give us a clue!
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by BigH47
Originally Posted by JSH:
Sorry, Tony. Looked at this three times and still don't get it.
Give us a clue!
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Sorry I don't get the Connection!
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by tonym
No jokes, no comments either for a couple of days previously. Tumbleweed blowing slowly by...
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by BigH47
Whoosh, too subtle for me.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by JSH
Thanks other Tony. See it now. I was looking for a joke in the picture!
JSH
Originally Posted by tonym:
No jokes, no comments either for a couple of days previously. Tumbleweed blowing slowly by...
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by ChrisSU
Originally Posted by BigH47:
Originally Posted by JSH:
Sorry, Tony. Looked at this three times and still don't get it.
Give us a clue!
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
Sorry I don't get the Connection!
Had me confused too for a bit, I couldn't get Ry Cooder's steel string guitar out go my mind.
Then I thought, ah....wrong artist! Try Elton John?
Posted on: 16 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
Bad quiz night. The Quiz Master asked us to name Bond villains.
He just wouldn't take No for an answer.
Posted on: 17 June 2015 by Conortsun
Originally Posted by MDS:
Originally Posted by elkman70:
The Sun has printed a full page tribute to Christopher Lee but he didn't appear in The Mirror.
excellent!
In the sun? Really? Was he wearing a crucifix and eating garlic soup too?...
Posted on: 17 June 2015 by Tony Lockhart
