Best Jokes (continues)

Is that  a shelf E?

G

Ok. That's not funny.....

But a much better option than watching the show though!

Edinburgh Fringe Top 10.

I liked number 4 the best.

• "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh
• "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis
• "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess
• "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham
• "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green
• "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson
• "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry
• "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane
• "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery
• "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child

This is a  special joke for Jem .....

 Simon

Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have uncovered a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts, and believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

Tried phone sex once, haven't been able to pee normally since.

My first joke to the 200 page thread, and its just hanging out there...a real stink bomb. 

Should have read the fine print when you consented to the mail order

Should have read the fine print when you consented to the mail order

Would that be 'male' order???

Originally Posted by joerand:

Should have read the fine print when you consented to the mail order

Would that be 'male' order???

Nope, bad Thai minge.

Originally Posted by jjbomber:

Originally Posted by joerand:

Should have read the fine print when you consented to the mail order

Would that be 'male' order???

Nope, bad Thai minge.

Minge? Recall mistakenly ordering that once in a Thai restaurant. Sent it back immediately as something about the whole dish smelt a bit "off".

Originally Posted by Sneaky SNAIC:

Originally Posted by jjbomber:

Originally Posted by joerand:

Should have read the fine print when you consented to the mail order

Would that be 'male' order???

Nope, bad Thai minge.

Minge? Recall mistakenly ordering that once in a Thai restaurant. Sent it back immediately as something about the whole dish smelt a bit "off".

 It can develop a fishy smell over time, just be careful not to Bangkok.

Here is the weather forecast for the next 24 hours in the Baghdad area;    

Today will be sunni, tomorrow will be shiite 

Or you'd use this post to later claim you'd *really* be totally nutso to go through with it after announcing it here, and someone on the forums must have set you up.  Already an episode of a crime show.  *very* suspicious. 

Or it could be that this double bluff is so obvious that the Old Bill will not think he could possibly have murdered his Old Lady.

Apologies to those insulted:

Updated for The United States of America

After I posted this, I realized some years had gone by...it was possible his wife had already died.  I felt that I could garner wrath for being so insensitive as to joke about his wife's recent demise.  Also he could already be on trial, etc.

However, I reasoned there was also a chance I would save his wife's life by posting this and thereby trumping his plan.

Without the time to do proper diligence and in some way check on the current health of his wife, and his current location...I just went for it.