Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
I just saw this on a truck bumper:
"Be nice to America, or we will bring democracy to your country."
Kevin ~W
Cameron:The Lost Footage
Brilliant
Karl
Originally Posted by Richard S:
Well at least when the immigrant hoards come, we'll be armed and so will our police.
What will you do?
Well said JSH
US has taken in a couple of MILLION South American refugees over the last 2 years...guess you only read your own news.
I'm of Scottish and German descent originally, however born on this soil. I'm sure if we go back enough on you we'll find you are some African or Viking immigrant no?
Who is Rush Limbaugh?
Yep, you are unarmed subjects...
USA Southern border has been, more or less, wide open for a couple of years now...read up.
US has taken in a couple of MILLION South American refugees over the last 2 years...guess you only read your own news.
I'm of Scottish and German descent originally, however born on this soil. I'm sure if we go back enough on you we'll find you are some African or Viking immigrant no?
Who is Rush Limbaugh?
Yep, you are unarmed subjects...
Refugees??
Apparently, it was the VW MOT test centre behind it.
US has taken in a couple of MILLION South American refugees over the last 2 years...guess you only read your own news.
I'm of Scottish and German descent originally, however born on this soil. I'm sure if we go back enough on you we'll find you are some African or Viking immigrant no?
Who is Rush Limbaugh?
Yep, you are unarmed subjects...
Refugees??
Exactly; they aren't really refugees from anything, but their horrible country. Unfortunately we've aborted so many babies we need people to do manual labor...pay taxes etc. Most of us Americans are too good to pick vegetables.
But everyone should have a free college edumacation, right? The more educated and civilized a population is, the less offspring it produces, the higher the abortion rate, and the fewer folks willing to do anything but white collar jobs. Educated, civilized people don't like to share.
US has taken in a couple of MILLION South American refugees over the last 2 years...guess you only read your own news.
I'm of Scottish and German descent originally, however born on this soil. I'm sure if we go back enough on you we'll find you are some African or Viking immigrant no?
Who is Rush Limbaugh?
Yep, you are unarmed subjects...
Refugees??
Exactly; they aren't really refugees from anything, but their horrible country. Unfortunately we've aborted so many babies we need people to do manual labor...pay taxes etc. Most of us Americans are too good to pick vegetables.
But everyone should have a free college edumacation, right? The more educated and civilized a population is, the less offspring it produces, the higher the abortion rate, and the fewer folks willing to do anything but white collar jobs. Educated, civilized people don't like to share.
Are you for real?
Or merely a troll?
steve
US has taken in a couple of MILLION South American refugees over the last 2 years...guess you only read your own news.
I'm of Scottish and German descent originally, however born on this soil. I'm sure if we go back enough on you we'll find you are some African or Viking immigrant no?
Who is Rush Limbaugh?
Yep, you are unarmed subjects...
Refugees??
Exactly; they aren't really refugees from anything, but their horrible country. Unfortunately we've aborted so many babies we need people to do manual labor...pay taxes etc. Most of us Americans are too good to pick vegetables.
But everyone should have a free college edumacation, right? The more educated and civilized a population is, the less offspring it produces, the higher the abortion rate, and the fewer folks willing to do anything but white collar jobs. Educated, civilized people don't like to share.
no sabe
US 1930s Depression Era setting....
Two boys find a quarter on the sidewalk outside a cathouse. They knock on the cathouse door and ask the madame what they can get for a quarter. She lifts her dress, grabs one boy by the hair, and rubs his nose in it. Grabs the other boy and rubs his nose in it. Both boys stagger back, cough, shake their heads, and collect their wits. One boy says to the other "How was it for you?" The other boy replies "Good thing we found only one quarter. Two quarters worth may have put us off the scent for good."
A British married couple are in the sitting room. The wife knits while her husband reads The Times. 'My dear?' 'Yes, my dearest?' 'Do we have sexual relations?' 'Yes we do my dearest!'
They continue knitting and reading for several hours. Finally, the woman says: 'We should invite them round more often!'
An American is visited by a fairy godmother and she says to the stunned yank "you have three wishes, make them count".
Rather bewildered the American gentleman thinks of his favourite thing and says (in a Homer Simpson voice) "give me a bottle of Budwieser that when I drink it down it magically refills".
The fairy godmother waves her wand and in a puff of smoke a gleaming bottle of bud appears. The yank glugs it down and magically the bottle of bud refills itself.
Very excitedly the American gentleman gazes at the fairy godmother in awe and thanks her for his wonderful gift. Why, what self respecting American wouldn't want to get pissed every night for free! The yank tests out his new toy and drinks down the bud again and low and behold the bottle refills yet again.
"Right" says the fairy godmother, "you have two more wishes, what do you desire?"
The yank replies "I will have two more of these bottles of bud, thanks."
I thank you.
Night night.
Old lady (to street musician): Do you always play by ear?
Street Musician: Yes, lady, 'ere or 'ereabouts.
Come on sneaky I have enjoyed your material and I know you can do better than that. Well, at least it is clean and doesn't insult anyone.
Just decided to put my Hoover on eBay - well it was only gathering dust.
I know Brits have heard this one - not sure if it has made it over the pond though.