Best Jokes (continues)

It seems to be a very British humor.

Wenn ich Euch ein paar Schweizer Witze erzähle wird das bestimmt auch lustig..

Right, now for a really terrible but quite funny Norwegian joke.

A guy walks into an Oslo travel agents and asked the lady on the desk to book him an SAS flight to Pittsburg, and send his luggage to Budapest. She replied that is this was not possible. He commented that four weeks ago and a fortnight ago this was exactly what SAS had managed without a single quibble.

Okay that could count for any nation!

ATB from George

PS: In my experience I had my Heathrow SAS service deliver me perfectly to Oslo, and my case went to Budapest ... two decades ago now. My grandfather was larger than me by the degree that I had to employ a belt to hold his loaned trousers up for a week!

No, don't get it. What sort of punchline is "http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34570876"?

You really ought not criticise until you can post a joke that make sense.

Chris, Graeme and HH, I applaud you. Some seriously silly and very funny stuff!

Even funnier reading you guys explaining it to our European colleagues!

I am going to have to get to work to compete with this kind of quality.

Swiss people calling themselves European

British people calling people on the mainland Continental

Maybe UKIP and SVP should merge.

The Swiss will not pay any Royal Family expences, 

a merge would make sense with Norway, Uk and CH. 

Hahahah. Close to being right, but we did win the Fairs Cup, which became the Eufa cup, in 1969, but the sentiment of the joke still holds!

Young lady walks into her GP's for a check up. The Doc proceeds to listen to the young lady's chest with his stethoscope.

Doc: "Big breath"

Young Lady: "Yeth, and I am only sixthteen"

Oh, you are awful...'Big breaths' it was when Dick Emery did it in the 70's.

G

I was hoping everybody had forgotten this one - clearly not!

I'll get me coat.

Young man goes into the local village post office:

Young man: "Do you keep stationery?"

Young female assistant : "Only up until the last 2 minutes and then I go frantic"

But I like you!  I first saw this joke on a greetings card when I was on holiday as a kid in Leysdown before Dick Emery did it.

Another one I remember is a picture of a young busty woman (weren't they all in these cards) in a scanty nightdress with her newly wed husband who you can see has one thing on his mind.  She is on the phone and is saying "Mummy you are wrong it is not my money he is after" and that was quite clear from the expression on his face.

Those two cards have always stuck in my mind.

Graeme, Bill,

OK OK it's an old joke. But by reminding us all of this fact you are showing your age.

I was aiming for a post Dick Emery audience if there are any of you out there! 

I was there for the first leg but not in Hungary for the 2nd leg

At the risk of being pedantic (or even pre Dick Emery) I think the Big Breaths line came from one of the  'Doctor.......' films of the 1950s. Of course, I only saw these films on TV reruns!

Ten years old, squashed in the front of Leazes end. Capacity was 60000 but I bet 10000 more came over the wall. Bobby Moncur scoring twice. Still makes me smile as much as many of the jokes on here!