Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Being Sunday, my friend was down on his knees while the guy behind was shouting 'Jesus loves you'. It's a tough life in these Mexican prisons.
Fifteen minutes later on the motorway, I realised I'd left the car at home.
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.
He's Espanyol.
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.
He's Espanyol.
I laughed at that.
I really must get out more.
G
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.
He's Espanyol.
Pure genius!
I'm thinking of selling my Theramin. I've not touched it in years.
I finally took her advice & I have to admit, her younger sister is much better in bed.
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.
He's Espanyol.
Pure brilliance!
Yes, good one JJ!
Yes, good one JJ!
I was sent it. I wish I could claim it as one of mine, but I can't.
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
+ 1.
Aw...........you got me ! 
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
light bulbs, what you should use is a Hugo 
Karl
So then, apparently Mr Sheen doesn't wipe everything clean after all.
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 "insider" to say that the makers are going to announce a DR version, just as soon as you've taken delivery!
Steve
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 "insider" to say that the makers are going to announce a DR version, just as soon as you've taken delivery!
Steve
Not forgetting the sonic slippers!
In line with new Met Office practice, we've been assigning a name to strong wind, so as to heighten awareness of them and the impact they may have. Judging by the shouts of "Oh God Dad, that's disgusting..." on announcing that 'Bernard' was making its way across the living room, it seems to be working.
How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 "insider" to say that the makers are going to announce a DR version, just as soon as you've taken delivery!
Steve
Not forgetting the sonic slippers!
I am Beta testing the new Naim light bulb so I can't tell you about it. That's right, I have to keep you in the dark!
She was only the vicar's daughter, but my what a service she gave!