Best Jokes (continues)

Dear Tony [L],

I see that you have joined Adam [M] in such obscure humour that you need a brain the size of the Planet to get it!

ATB from George

PS: Explaining the joke will not help as it ruins the effect.

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2 seconds 

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This guy can't even find a hole thru his problem,  maybe just leave it where it is, it can't fall very far. 

Black Friday deal on ebay. 50" TV for £100, the only catch is the volume doesn't work.

I thought - I cant turn that down.

Oh oh oh I so like that .. unfortunately I had a mouthful of hot tea when I read it .. time to get cleaned up.

Suppose you were photographing Niagara Falls and George Osborne falls in and is swept past. You can either save him or take the picture of a lifetime. So here's the tricky question:

What shutter speed should you use?

Downtown al Khobar, Saudi Arabia. It'll take you a while to spot the comedy.

Yep that looks like Al Khobar, I knew it well, 1983 - 1989. Just one of many insane solutions to a problem in that part of the world.

Ken

Have been to Al Khobar in 87/88, the place i got introduced to Naim products from an Irish fellow.

Best regards

JR

My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.

I explained to her I was looking for cheap flights.

"I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, quickly undressed, and we had the most amazing sex ever, which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.

Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:

Downtown al Khobar, Saudi Arabia. It'll take you a while to spot the comedy.

Yep that looks like Al Khobar, I knew it well, 1983 - 1989. Just one of many insane solutions to a problem in that part of the world.

 

Ken

Ok sorry. I give up. Please explain.

OkOriginally Posted by Southweststokie:

Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:

Downtown al Khobar, Saudi Arabia. It'll take you a while to spot the comedy.

Yep that looks like Al Khobar, I knew it well, 1983 - 1989. Just one of many insane solutions to a problem in that part of the world.

 

Ken

Ok sorry. I give up. Please explain.

Let your eyes drift up the lamp post and then you will see the light. 

Cold caller: Have you had an accident in the last 6 months, either at work or in your car?
Woman: Yes I have, actually. It happened at work when I was sitting at my desk.
Cold Caller: And did you think of suing the company?
Woman: No, I just went home and changed my knickers.

A pregnant prostitute goes to the doctor who asks,

"do you know who the father is?" 
"If you ate a can  of  beans,  would you know which one made you fart?" 

I told my wife she draws her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.

A person goes into the library and asks the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrödinger's cat. 

'It rings a bell' says the librarian, 'but I'm not sure if it's there or not'.

............  cue cartoon 

I went train spotting once.

It was really easy,  they are ####ing big & make loads of noise.

A rooster was smoking a large cigar and looking extremely pleased with itself, beside him was an egg which looked very disappointed.

I guess thats answered that question

Why don't French people ever have two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is an oeuf.  

... and your car had broken down???

Which came first - the chicken or the egg?

Neither - the cock came first when he laid the chicken.