Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
My friends organising a football team and asked me if I'd like to make up the numbers.
I suggested 111. One hundred and onety one.
If Ryan Giggs splits up with his wife and they share everything 50/50, she will have more Premier League medals than Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney combined!
jjbomber posted:If Ryan Giggs splits up with his wife and they share everything 50/50, she will have more Premier League medals than Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney combined!
Ouch! 
Yeah, but what will his sister-in-law get? We shall never know because all we'll get is a super injunction?
Confectionery
Mr. Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street and had a drink in a Mars Bar.
He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole', she said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts' he replied.He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.He fondled her Curly Wurlies and she rubbed his Maltesers.
Soon they were Heart Throbs - it was a Fab moment as she
screamed in Turkish Delight.But 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip started to itch.
Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett, and he had Allsorts!
How many nails are used to make a lesbian's bed?
None, they're all tongue and groove!
Zinpaw posted:How many nails are used to make a lesbian's bed?
None, they're all tongue and groove!
But who's got wood in a lesbian's bed?
Mick Hucknalls been arrested after being caught shaggin a rabbit. A police source said he was " holding back the ears" and singing "bunnys to tight to mention".
Hucknall's lawyers purported to be mounting the defense that he was simply having a bad hare day.
I think he will get away with it defence are arguing that she was an old Bunny Boiler.
Today I got in touch with my inner self…
That’s the last time I buy cheap toilet paper.
............ boom booom & talking of rabbits & anal glands ............. One day a little fluffy bunny & a big bear were squatting in the woods taking a dump. The bear says to the bunny - "When you take a dump, does the crap stick to your fur?" The bunny replied - "No Mr Bear, the crap never sticks to my fur". "that's good to hear" said the bear & grabbed the little fluffy bunny in his big paw & wiped his big bear arse.
Solar power is the future but it won't happen overnight.
tonym posted:Solar power is the future but it won't happen overnight.
brilliant!
tonym posted:Solar power is the future but it won't happen overnight.
My friend's built a solar powered aircraft. I really hope it takes off.
Not sure if it'll see the light of day though.
Sounds as useless as an inflatable dart board.
jjbomber posted:tonym posted:Solar power is the future but it won't happen overnight.
My friend's built a solar powered aircraft. I really hope it takes off.
Not sure if it'll see the light of day though.
Not a fly by night venture then.
My post has been removed. I bet Richard's been looking into it.