Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
I hosted a fancy dress party over the weekend. The theme was 'erectile dysfunction'. It was a complete flop: nobody came.
What do you get if you cross a nun with an apple?
A computer that won't go down on you.
A friend told me I had OCD. I checked 3 or 400 times and I definitely don't
This bloke said to me that he once got my dog to retrieve a stick from 100 miles away.
I said that’s a bit far-fetched
JamieWednesday posted:A friend told me I had OCD. I checked 3 or 400 times and I definitely don't
Bit cruel calling it OCD. Why aren't the letters in order?
jjbomber posted:JamieWednesday posted:A friend told me I had OCD. I checked 3 or 400 times and I definitely don't
Bit cruel calling it OCD. Why aren't the letters in order?
Eh Eh! Very clever.
My iPad is always going down! Still at least it doesn't hang it just goes back to the logon screen.
Singles bar rule #1 for a man seeking a quick hook up - look for a woman with a tatoo on her face or neck. A strong indicator she's willing to make a spontaneous decision she may regret the next morning.
Big Bill posted:My iPad is always going down!
Wouldn't it be great if I-pads behaved more like a wife?
Soon after marriage the going down events come to an abrupt end.
joerand posted:Wouldn't it be great if I-pads behaved more like a wife?
Soon after marriage the going down events come to an abrupt end.
Or as the old joke says:
Why are brides always smiling on their wedding day?
They know they'll never have to go down again.
Q: What does lobster and oral sex have in common?
A: They are both very nice but you only rarely get them at home.
On the topic of oral sex, anyone ever pulled off a "68"?
You go down on me now and I'll owe you one.
I don't think we can leave the EU.
We won't be able to manage with only 3 vowels
Tony,
I just beat your chicken game. I didn't look at the chicken. Honest 
joerand posted:Tony,
I just beat your chicken game. I didn't look at the chicken. Honest
You cheated Joe!
How about an Irish 'Knock Knock' Joke.......You start
Pretty busy in work at the moment. There are only 2 of us working on the production line making Dracula figures.
I have to make every second count.
What's the difference in sex with a prostitute, sex with a mistress and sex with the wife?
Prostitute: 'Have you finished yet?'
Mistress: 'Have you finished already?'
Wife: 'Have you finished painting the ceiling?'
The director of the winery wondered how to "nicely" send him away in this "all too Politically Correct" world.
The drunk sipped it and without the traditional sniffing or swirling said, “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown
“That’s correct”, said the boss.
Another glass…
“This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees.
“Correct.”
A third glass…
“It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,” the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.
“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don’t get the job I’ll name the father.”
steve
That's good!
G