Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 22 June 2016 by Paper Plane

steve

Posted on: 22 June 2016 by Big Bill

I do like that fish joke!

Posted on: 22 June 2016 by SNAIC in the Grass

This is the truth, that in going through Pink Floyd's back catalog of vinyl from Piper to Animals I realized that I these three the most:

  • More - Already bought the 2016 release
  • Atom Heart Mother - Will buy the 2016 release
  • Obscured by Clouds - Will buy the 2016 release

 

I was mulling this over and realized they are the 3rd, 5th and 7th albums by the band and it struck me as odd.

 

 

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by Adam Meredith
SNAIC in the Grass posted:

This is the truth, that in going through Pink Floyd's back catalog of vinyl from Piper to Animals I realized that I these three the most:

  • More - Already bought the 2016 release
  • Atom Heart Mother - Will buy the 2016 release
  • Obscured by Clouds - Will buy the 2016 release

 

I was mulling this over and realized they are the 3rd, 5th and 7th albums by the band and it struck me as odd.

 

 

Some humour goes over my head.

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by Steve GTX

It's probably a take on the very old gag....... "I have three children and noticed that the first and the last borne are odd"

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by Big Bill
SNAIC in the Grass posted:

This is the truth, that in going through Pink Floyd's back catalog of vinyl from Piper to Animals I realized that I these three the most:

  • More - Already bought the 2016 release
  • Atom Heart Mother - Will buy the 2016 release
  • Obscured by Clouds - Will buy the 2016 release

 

I was mulling this over and realized they are the 3rd, 5th and 7th albums by the band and it struck me as odd.

 

 

They are my favourite Floyd albums, them and 'Ummagumma'!  Evens strike back.

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by jjbomber

At school I was told 'I before E, except after c'.

I though 'Weird?'.

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by tonym

I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Posted on: 23 June 2016 by TOBYJUG

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by joerand

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by SNAIC in the Grass
Steve GTX posted:

It's probably a take on the very old gag....... "I have three children and noticed that the first and the last borne are odd"

But the odd thing is...it didn't start as a joke, I really did like those albums the most!

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by jjbomber
SNAIC in the Grass posted: I really did like those albums the most!

Now that is funny!

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by Adam Meredith
SNAIC in the Grass posted:
Steve GTX posted:

It's probably a take on the very old gag....... "I have three children and noticed that the first and the last borne are odd"

But the odd thing is...it didn't start as a joke ...

Don't worry - it didn't end that way either.

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by SNAIC in the Grass
Adam Meredith posted:
SNAIC in the Grass posted:
Steve GTX posted:

It's probably a take on the very old gag....... "I have three children and noticed that the first and the last borne are odd"

But the odd thing is...it didn't start as a joke ...

Don't worry - it didn't end that way either.

(A drum off to the side) Ba-dum tshh.

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by tonym

The cowboy lost his favorite book while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a eagle walked up to him carrying the book in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the book out of the eagle's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the eagle. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Posted on: 24 June 2016 by TOBYJUG

One of Britians most loved charismatic sportsman Chris Eubank has now changed his name to Chris Bank.

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by joerand

Two molecules are walking down the street and bump into one another.

The first one says, "Oh, dear, I think I've lost an electron!"

The second one says, "Are you certain?"

The first one says, "Yes, I'm positive!

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by tonym

Q: How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We never said there was a lightbulb!

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by jjbomber
tonym posted:

Q: How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We never said there was a lightbulb!

1 to stand on a chair and change the lightbulb.

0 to hold the ladder.

0 to follow EU Health & Safety guidelines before safe installation.

0 to hold a meeting in Brussels to discuss if the lightbulb is straight enough.

0 to hold a meeting in Strasbourg to check the lightbulb's carbon footprint.

0 to issue a directive on greenhouse emitions of the said lightbulb.

0 to check the safe disposal of the old lightbulb in an appropriate container.

0 to recycle the cardboard packaging at an approved recycling plant.

 

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by dave marshall
jjbomber posted:
tonym posted:

Q: How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We never said there was a lightbulb!

1 to stand on a chair and change the lightbulb.

0 to hold the ladder.

0 to follow EU Health & Safety guidelines before safe installation.

0 to hold a meeting in Brussels to discuss if the lightbulb is straight enough.

0 to hold a meeting in Strasbourg to check the lightbulb's carbon footprint.

0 to issue a directive on greenhouse emitions of the said lightbulb.

0 to check the safe disposal of the old lightbulb in an appropriate container.

0 to recycle the cardboard packaging at an approved recycling plant.

 

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by jjbomber

England have just lost to Iceland. On the bright side, at least it wasn't Aldi or Lidl.

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by jjbomber

Roy Hodgson has just announced his resignation. I didn't even know he was in the Labour cabinet.

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by dayjay

Iceland is supposed to be cheap but Joe Hart saved nothing  

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by dayjay

Apparently Jeremy Corbyn has been on to Ikea, he is looking for a new cabinet 

Posted on: 27 June 2016 by joerand

My wife told me she's bought some naughty outfits and is interested in exploring adventurous avenues in her sex life. Role playing with new characters and the like. "Great", I said excitedly, "what role will I be playing?"  She thought for a moment and said "Well, I guess if you happen to be home at the time, the observer."