Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
What does a vegan zombie eat.
Graaaaaaaaaiiiins.
A wife fresh from a comprehensive medical exam says to her husband "Sad news Honey. I'm afraid the gynecologist told me not to have sex for a month."
The husband thinks for a moment and replies "Intriguing. What did the proctologist have to say?"
a thorough examination he said it was probably the cleanest tidiest vaginas
he had ever examined, she replied hardly suprising I have a women in three
times a week.
Look out guys...I'm back!
Q. What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A. One's big and heavy and the other's little lighter.
Happy Friday!
I'm back and still can't type!
I really must tak moor kare and reed mi poste and cheque mi spilling!
I'll try again
Q. What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A. One's big and heavy and the other's a little lighter.
Happy Friday!
Mo spill chocker them?
Rio 2016: Kuwaiti marksman wears Arsenal shirt during Olympic shooting event, inevitably finishes third.
Dyslexia Rules.... K.O.
Tony2011 posted:Rio 2016: Kuwaiti marksman wears Arsenal shirt during Olympic shooting event, inevitably finishes third.
.... blames lack of funding!
King Arthur's round table was designed by Sir Cumference.
Er, second I think you'll find. Ahead of Spurs
... though a poor last in the Sense Of Humour Table.
.....shortly after take-off on an out-bound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience.”
When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight "
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available".
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a railway worker?
Ask them both to pronounce "unionised".
Tony: Does one need to be a chemist or a railway worker to understand that joke ? I'm neither, and I'm afraid I'm struggling a tad .. I even tried it with a Welsh accent ... nothing .. ??
Oh dear John, you should have paid more attention at school......
un ionised or union ised 
My Hippo/Zippo joke was funnier!
Steve GTX posted:Oh dear John, you should have paid more attention at school......
un ionised or union ised
Hangs head with shame .. looks at audience and sighs.
Steve GTX posted:Oh dear John, you should have paid more attention at school......
un ionised or union ised
Either way, likely to be a charged topic.