Best Jokes (continues)

Don Atkinson posted:

x² - x² = x² - x²

x(x - x) = (x + x)(x - x)

x(x - x) = (x + x)(x - x)

x = (x + x)

x = 2x

x = 2x

1 = 2       QED

Not sure if this belongs here, or in the Brain Teaser thread ?

Not sure if you want the answer but you can't divide both sides by x-x, as that is 0.

So even though 2x0=1x0, it does not mean that 2=1.

Devastated A very sad day today. After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort,training and money. A genuinely nice guy and brilliant vet.

jjbomber posted:

Don Atkinson posted:

x² - x² = x² - x²

x(x - x) = (x + x)(x - x)

x(x - x) = (x + x)(x - x)

x = (x + x)

x = 2x

x = 2x

1 = 2       QED

Not sure if this belongs here, or in the Brain Teaser thread ?

Not sure if you want the answer but you can't divide both sides by x-x, as that is 0.

So even though 2x0=1x0, it does not mean that 2=1.

Exactly!

What do we want? More Mavis from Coronation Street impersonators. When do we want it? Well I don't really know....

TOBYJUG posted:

TOBYJUG posted:

"Who's the jack ass that left the toilet seat up?"

The volume of a deep-crusted pizza, radius "z" and thickness "a" is...............

...........Pi-z-z-a.......

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

..............He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Old mathematicians never die, they just loose some of their functions.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a goat?

- The modulus of the sheep times the modulus of the goat times the sine of the angle between them times a unit normal.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a fish?

- You can't do it, a fish is scalar.

An opinion without 3.14159 leaves a only an onion.

 Take all measures to avoid getting hit in the face by pi. It will never end.

The person who invented predictive text died yesterday. His funfair is next monkey

As I get older I've found that pleasing everyone is getting harder & harder, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. 

And talking of getting older ...........  

OLD' IS WHEN.... 
Your wife says, 'Let's go upstairs & make love,' and you answer, 'I can't do both'
You are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the supermarket car park
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to take a leak. 

Mike-B posted:

The person who invented predictive text died yesterday. His funfair is next monkey

Mike, you got in a right mucking fuddle with that

The animal rights fanatics at PETA have launched a new campaign to stop farmers and nomad herders filling their animals with helium. As a libertarian, I'm not at all bothered by this practice - whatever floats your goat, I say...

So 32% of the UK electricity generated on Christmas Day was by wind.

Personally, I blame it on the Brussels sprouts.

Talking of 'lecky power

How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb?
- Eon

Still seven weeks to pancake day and the shops are selling eggs and flour already.

steve

Apparently FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

.... which makes me a FOMO-sexual.

As its a hifi forum:                       Hi Bill "Did you hear the news about Bob; he died last night”. “No !! Really !!! , what a shocker, so sad. ….. sigh ….. What did he have?”      “NDS, 252, 300 & Sopra-2's"

 Two aerials meet on a roof, they fall in love & get married. The reception was brilliant.