Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
It takes balls to be a transvestite
Mike-B posted:It takes balls to be a transvestite
Yep, that's true whichever way you dress it up.
Just had my water bill of ￡175 drop on the door mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just ￡2 a month: time to change supplier I think.
Stevee_S posted:Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just ￡2 a month.
... and £1.95 of that goes to the charity collector!
I was pretty surprised that "Yell for help" wasn't one of them.
Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor, at first I was afraid; I was petrified.
elkman70 posted:Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor, at first I was afraid; I was petrified.
Stealing this in 3..2..1
Up for a joke that gets ugly fast?
Have you heard the one about the baby seal that walked into a club?
Talking of clubs; a four ball game complained about slow play of the group ahead. The club steward apologised & said its all part of the clubs policy on embracing the local community, "they are from the blind home" he said. "OK a good thing to do, but why don't they play at night"
I won't let my kids watch big band or symphony orchestra concerts - too much sax and violins.
In the light of new information,
Acts now tipped for DJT inauguration:Urethra Franklin, Wet Wet, Wee Papa Girl Rappers, Waterboys, Yello and Slash from Guns'N'Roses.
DJT should step down at the earliest public convenience.
DJT lost his viagra, he told Melania "The erection is rigged!"
Just a reminder to all those who stole electrical goods in last year's riots....your one year manufacturer's warranty runs out soon.
............ & talking airplanes. I took my family to visit the AIR & SPACE museum ... there was nothing there.
A passenger was giving the gate attendants a hard time because of a 1 hour storm delay, she asked "Sir, would you rather be down here wishing you were up there, or up there wishing you were down here."
Did you know ............ Saddam Hussein kept his hifi in a rack ...
.......... why are boxing rings square?
.......... before they got married Jay-Z called his girlfriend Feyonce
How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. According to their calculations the bulb should still be working.
How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem and it was probably just a beta bulb.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the guitar player has to show him how to do it first.
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? .. Oh never mind. I'll ask the keyboard player, he can do it with his left hand.
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
3 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
20 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
5 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
3 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
How many Naim software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. That's all they've got.
Hey Joe (there's a song in there somewhere) its way past your bedtime !!!
Highlighter pens are the future...
Mark my words.