Best Jokes (continues)

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to their calculations the bulb should still be working.

How many Microsoft software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a hardware problem and it was probably just a beta bulb.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?  Just one, but the guitar player has to show him how to do it first.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?  ..  Oh never mind. I'll ask the keyboard player, he can do it with his left hand.

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?  Only one,  but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
3 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
20 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
5 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
3 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again

How many Naim software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. That's all they've got.

Hey Joe (there's a song in there somewhere)  its way past your bedtime !!!     

Highlighter pens are the future...

Mark my words.

tonym posted:

Highlighter pens are the future...

Mark my words.

I thought that was garlic bread?

No garlic bread leaves oily stains on the paper!

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

Then a side discussion on the night & day difference between LED & incandescent 

Mike-B posted:

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

Then a side discussion on the night & day difference between LED & incandescent 

...and whether they can be dimmed.

G

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

And several members to stress the importance of trying the replacement bulb at home to test room interaction etc and not to buy in the store on specifications alone.

MDS posted:

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

And several members to stress the importance of trying the replacement bulb at home to test room interaction etc and not to buy in the store on specifications alone.

...and a clutch who have never 'gone electric' and wax lyrical that candle is still the only way to experience real enlightenment.

G

GraemeH posted:

MDS posted:

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

And several members to stress the importance of trying the replacement bulb at home to test room interaction etc and not to buy in the store on specifications alone.

...and a clutch who have never 'gone electric' and wax lyrical that candle is still the only way to experience real enlightenment.

At least one person would say go 272N and 250DR...then there's at least half a dozen who'd say plug a Hugo into the socket.

MDS posted:

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

And several members to stress the importance of trying the replacement bulb at home to test room interaction etc and not to buy in the store on specifications alone.

...a 'ohm dem' then.

G

GraemeH posted:

MDS posted:

GraemeH posted:

jjbomber posted:

Mike-B posted:

How many hifi forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
etc

1 to ask politely if upgrading the cable would improve the performance of the bulb

4,999 to argue about cables for the next 10 years!

At least one forum member to query whether it's best to leave the bulb permanently powered up...or to switch off when not in use.

G

And several members to stress the importance of trying the replacement bulb at home to test room interaction etc and not to buy in the store on specifications alone.

...and a clutch who have never 'gone electric' and wax lyrical that candle is still the only way to experience real enlightenment.

G

Ah, yes, Graeme. I remember that exchange with Denon-system man . 

A pirate paid a buck an ear for a piercing.

steve

A little old man hobbles up to the White House and asks the Marine guard 'I'm here to see President Obama.'
The Marine replies 'Sir, Obama is no longer President.'
The old man says 'OK' and hobbles away.
This scene is repeated for several days, and the Marine is growing concerned about the old man and asks him if he is alright.
The old man replies 'Oh I'm alright, I just like hearing you say "Obama is no longer President."'
The Marine snaps to attention, gives the old man a crisp salute, and says 'Very good, Sir! Look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Sir!'

If trump is shot at will his bodyguard shout, 'Donald Duck'