Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 27 February 2017 by Christopher_M

I know it's Ovaltine

Posted on: 27 February 2017 by Daveas

It must be Marrmalade.

Posted on: 27 February 2017 by TOBYJUG

              GET A ROOM !!

Posted on: 27 February 2017 by DBS-Al

The above picture reminds me of something that happened to me some years ago.

While walking down a road near to where I live, a man approached me and asked me if I would like a sofa for free.

I said I was sorry but no as my parents always told me not to accept suites from strangers.

Posted on: 01 March 2017 by Stevee_S

Unfortunately I missed the news at the time that seven wheelchair athletes were banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

Posted on: 02 March 2017 by TOBYJUG

Good tip for the Cheltenham festival races is - EMESIS.

And that's straight from the horses mouth.

Posted on: 02 March 2017 by Mike-B

............  & taking of the Cheltenham Festival,    the fastest way to make a small fortune at Cheltenham is to start with a large fortune.  

Posted on: 02 March 2017 by tonym

I have CDO...

It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order....... as they should be!

Posted on: 02 March 2017 by Stevee_S
tonym posted:

I have CDO...

It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order....... as they should be!

Perhaps you should see a DOC Tony.

Posted on: 03 March 2017 by Big Bill
Mike-B posted:

............  & taking of the Cheltenham Festival,    the fastest way to make a small fortune at Cheltenham is to start with a large fortune.  

It's true ya can't eat the old 'uns!

Posted on: 04 March 2017 by SNAIC in the Grass

Posted on: 05 March 2017 by TOBYJUG

PUBLIC RELATIONS is an anagram of " CRAP BUILT ON LIES."

Posted on: 06 March 2017 by Cloth Ears

SALMONELLA in an anagram of ON ALL MEALS. 

Posted on: 08 March 2017 by JSH

Q: What's the main difference between Trump and Hitler

A: Hitler got elected without Russian help

Posted on: 08 March 2017 by rodwsmith

Kim Jong Nam's son is called Kim Hans Sol.
No wonder Lil' Kim Ronely had him bumped off.
Once Kim Luke Skywalke comes on the scene, the evil empire is doomed.

 

Kim Jong-nam death: Mystery video of son emerges - BBC News
In the video, Kim Han-sol confirms his father's death and says: 'We hope this gets better soon'
 
BBC.COM|BY BBC NEWS

 

 
Posted on: 08 March 2017 by tonym

International Women's Day was meant to be yesterday, but it took them longer than expected to get ready.

Posted on: 08 March 2017 by ameden
tonym posted:

International Women's Day was meant to be yesterday, but it took them longer than expected to get ready.

Love this.....my better half has a propensity to always being late....the earlier she starts, the later she is...so it seems...I'm sure no one else has this issue....

Posted on: 08 March 2017 by rjstaines
ameden posted:
tonym posted:

International Women's Day was meant to be yesterday, but it took them longer than expected to get ready.

Love this.....my better half has a propensity to always being late....the earlier she starts, the later she is...so it seems...I'm sure no one else has this issue....

Nope... you're right ameden, never experienced this before  

One of my friends bought a 'cherished' number plate for his wife's car, it began with " L 8 ".    Unfortunately his missus didn't see the funny side of this.   They are now separated.  (This really happened.)

Posted on: 11 March 2017 by Mike-B

I had a big  at this one

Posted on: 14 March 2017 by Dozey

Sorry, but you will have to explain that one to me.

Posted on: 14 March 2017 by BigH47

I'm sorry it helps if I write it correctly:-

Going from vegetarian to vegan just left me irate, on reflection.

 

 

Posted on: 14 March 2017 by Bananahead
Dozey posted:

Sorry, but you will have to explain that one to me.

Make two fists with your hands

Raise a finger for each nun that you see

How many fingers have you raised?

What is another word for a nun?

 

Posted on: 15 March 2017 by Kevin-W

Not strictly a joke, but hilarious nevertheless:

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2...awkward-metal-bands/

Posted on: 15 March 2017 by Mike-B
Bananahead posted:
Dozey posted:

Sorry, but you will have to explain that one to me.

Make two fists with your hands

Raise a finger for each nun that you see

How many fingers have you raised?

What is another word for a nun? 

d'ya get it yet Dozey  ???       

Posted on: 15 March 2017 by sjbabbey

A bit unfair on Dozey. His comment related to BIGH47's initial attempt at posting a joke which didn't make sense.

BIGH47 then deleted his initial post making it look like Dozey's post referred to the Seven Sisters joke.