Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
My wife said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the Monkees.
I thought love was more or less a given thing. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
Baguettes you have to finish off in the oven?
What a half-baked idea .
A man was found shot with a starting pistol.
Police believe it's race related.
West Midlands Traffic Report - a truck carrying a load of Vic's Vapour Rub has overturned at J10a on the M6 spilling its load. West Midlands Police say its now cleared up & there is no congestion.
"Dad - why is my sister called Teresa?"
"It's an anagram of Easter and your mum loves Easter"
"Thanks Dad"
"No problem Alan"
What happens when Trump takes Viagra?
He gets taller.
A glossary of HiFi terms:
Loudspeaker - a person that talks while you're playing music
Woofer - a dog that barks while you're playing music
Tweeter - a teenager on social media
Supertweeter - Donald Trump
Tuner - a fish in New York City
Bass - also a fish
Pickup - a person you bring home to listen to your HiFi
Wow - listening to your HiFi with a loose pickup
Flutter - your reaction during Wow
Resistor - what you should do with a loose pickup
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a philosophy degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
I went to university a rather pessimistic person, but I left with a degree of optimism.
Educational Fact for today:-
The collective noun for a group of PPI salesmen is a miscellany .
For sale. ALDI TT. One careful owner.
Man has both a brain and a penis.
But only enough blood to run one at a time.
Stolen joke of the day:-
I’m getting a new copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover delivered tomorrow .
by DHL
I remember going to see Dr. Hook in the 70's
Worst prostate exam ever.
steve
Two surfers are sitting on a dune talking.
Surfer 1: "I have a half-sister. "
Surfer 2: "Different father? "
Surfer 1: "No, shark attack."