Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
joerand posted:Fun things to do at your local Walmart -
While handling rifles in the sporting goods department, ask the clerk where the pharmacy is telling him you really need to get your antidepressant prescription filled.
Hilarious - not!
Tony Lockhart posted:Bob,
It's not poking fun at the poor. It's making a light hearted joke about the price of clothing at Primark. Plenty of people with money to burn buy clothing from Primark because it's cheap enough to just bin after a few weeks. That's quite handy with kids who grow an inch every month.
And thank you for assuming I'm rich. I'm not.
Well I think you should be bloody well hung!
Hanged
tonym posted:Tony Lockhart posted:Bob,
It's not poking fun at the poor. It's making a light hearted joke about the price of clothing at Primark. Plenty of people with money to burn buy clothing from Primark because it's cheap enough to just bin after a few weeks. That's quite handy with kids who grow an inch every month.
And thank you for assuming I'm rich. I'm not.
Well I think you should be bloody well hung!
Maybe he is, but is a little coy about it.
I just don't want Mrs Tonym knowing
Mercky posted:joerand posted:Fun things to do at your local Walmart -
While handling rifles in the sporting goods department, ask the clerk where the pharmacy is telling him you really need to get your antidepressant prescription filled.
Hilarious - not!
Hilarity was never my intent. Perhaps the sardonicism flew over you?
Police are looking for a man who is refusing to update his PDF reader.
He's described as 37, single, with no fixed adobe.
THE PROPER WAY TO CALL A GUY A BASTARD
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole at the local
golf course when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first two holes. The second guy said, "We're
about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were
walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and
liked to pick on suckers.The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you.
You keep your winnings."The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation.
And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them"
Cetaceologists recently discovered that Bowhead whale vocalizations include variations akin to jazz-improv.
Helps explain why all the other whales seem to hate Bowheads.
My wife and I were perfectly happy for 20 years ... then we met.
steve
Incidentally my daughter works for Primark...
steve
Paper Plane posted:
steve
Should that not be 'Unplugged Eel'? What about Mark Everett's Eels?
Tony Lockhart posted:
That, Sir, is brilliant!
Last night my wife seemed pre-occupied during sex so I asked her what she was thinking about.
"The UPS guy" she replied. "He knows how to deliver a package on time".
Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me and asked what I thought of her new flip flops.
"Bloody horrible." I said "Put your bikini top back on."
steve
Steve,
I don’t think that should be on a jokes page as it’s a fact.
CB
A woman is at a funeral when a stranger whispers in her ear:
”Would you mind if I said a word?”
”Not at all, please go ahead”
”Plethora” he says
”Thank you” she replied, “that means a lot”
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Dipped in sugar with a sprinkling of cinnamon.
Clive B posted:Steve,
I don’t think that should be on a jokes page as it’s a fact.
CB
As Homer Simpson once said, "It's funny because it's true."