Best Jokes (continues)

jjbomber posted:

So that Thai boys football team are trapped and in danger of the cave flooding. It sounds like a perfect time for them to use their subs.

Shameful.

I agree, what a pathetic attempt at humour. You should be ashamed of yourself.

DBS-Al posted:

I agree, what a pathetic attempt at humour. You should be ashamed of yourself.

100 % agree.No thought how terrified those kids are,or how their parents are feeling the family of the diver who died trying to rescue them.

Sorry, can't see anything wrong with JJbomber's little joke. It's not offensive to the lads trapped, who I suspect would probably find it amusing too (Thinks- better not post my one...)

tonym posted:

Sorry, can't see anything wrong with JJbomber's little joke. It's not offensive to the lads trapped, who I suspect would probably find it amusing too (Thinks- better not post my one...)

With lives in peril, I doubt Naim would want the reputational damage of such a highly offensive 'little joke' on their forum.

Seems some people only read the jokes thread so they can find something to be offended about. Highly offensive? Your opinion of course, which you're entitled to, but with which I happen to disagree.

I think I may have seen Michael J. Fox at the garden centre. I can’t be sure because he had his back to the Fuchsias.

tonym posted:

Sorry, can't see anything wrong with JJbomber's little joke. It's not offensive to the lads trapped, who I suspect would probably find it amusing too (Thinks- better not post my one...)

Following the successful release of the boys, the British rescue team have all been invited to Downing Street. It's not for an honour, but to get Theresa May out of a hole.

jjbomber posted:

tonym posted:

Sorry, can't see anything wrong with JJbomber's little joke. It's not offensive to the lads trapped, who I suspect would probably find it amusing too (Thinks- better not post my one...)

Following the successful release of the boys, the British rescue team have all been invited to Downing Street. It's not for an honour, but to get Theresa May out of a hole.

Ok, jjbomber, now that is funny 

Some have great difficulties sleeping.  Hey I can do that with my eyes closed.

The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

A man walks past a fridge and thinks he can hear onions singing Bee Gee’s songs but on opening the fridge he discovered it was only the chives talkin’

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don’t know, don’t care.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

^^ reminds me of my boss.

I just got ripped off by a ticket tout.

I wanted to see The Cure but he's sold me Placebo tickets.

I hate that feeling after surgery when you're not sure if you're asleep or awake. Or if you operated on the right patient.

An English football fan and a French football fan walk into a bar.
The English fan says to the French fan “We're playing Croatia tomorrow”.
“Wow,” says the Frenchman, “What a coincidence! we are playing them on Sunday!”

A Sky engineer was in hospital. The staff tried everything they could, but nothing worked. Finally they had to switch the life support machine off ....

..... waited 10 seconds.....

.... then switched it back on. He made a full recovery.

jjbomber posted:

A Sky engineer was in hospital. The staff tried everything they could, but nothing worked. Finally they had to switch the life support machine off ....

..... waited 10 seconds.....

.... then switched it back on. He made a full recovery.

I was once told it was a good job Microsoft didn't invent the CD player, as we'd all need Control/Alt/Delete keys on the remotes - plus the pre-owned market would be a shambles given the need to keep purchasing licences (strange how many mature students would emerge from the populous). 

I used to have a phobia about horse-chestnut trees.......but I think I've conquered it.

MDS posted:

I used to have a phobia about horse-chestnut trees.......but I think I've conquered it.

You might need to translate that one for our non-UK friends  ..........   

Football's Gone Home

There are flood warinings in place in England tonight as the whole of Scotland pisses themselves laughing.