Best Jokes (continues)

Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007

http://forums.naim-audio.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/58019385/m/4391984906
Posted on: 26 July 2011 by Gale 401

Things are looking bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&v=bJYRJhopcy4&gl=US

Posted on: 02 August 2011 by tonym
John F Kennedy, Indira Gandhi, John Lennon. If history teaches us anything it's that if you don't want your child assassinated, then don't name them after an airport.
 
 
Posted on: 02 August 2011 by Jono 13
Originally Posted by tonym:
John F Kennedy, Indira Gandhi, John Lennon. If history teaches us anything it's that if you don't want your child assassinated, then don't name them after an airport.
 
 

Is that the reason for not changing Stanstead to Amy Winehouse International?

 

Jono

Posted on: 04 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
So, Joey Barton has shown us he's not the dumb-arse hard-boy we all thought he was. Here's another quote for his collection: "Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." -Albert Einstein. So do us all a favour please.
Posted on: 04 August 2011 by George Fredrik

My friend bought his wife a new high-tech item, like an iPod but more useful:

An "i - .....

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. - Ron"

 

The wife was not impressed.

 

ATB from George

Posted on: 05 August 2011 by Redmires

Letter to agony aunt

 

Dear Dierdre
 
I was round at my friends house and whilst in the bathroom looked out of the window to see his daughter topless in the garden. I was stood there staring at her whilst knocking one out and happened to see my wife stood there with her arms folded watching me.
 

Is she a pervert ?

Posted on: 05 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
My wife has just asked me how many women i've shagged. I said "I really dont want to answer that love, you know I've had a past and I don't want to upset you!" "C'mon" she said, "I can handle it!" So i had to sit there and count them all.....1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12..
Posted on: 06 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Polar Bear wins Norway Masterchef 2011 with his interpretation of Eton Mess.
Posted on: 06 August 2011 by tonym

I knew you 'd come right up with the goods Mr Lockhart!

Posted on: 06 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
It's why I post on this forum 
Posted on: 06 August 2011 by Gale 401
Originally Posted by Tony Lockhart:
It's why I post on this forum 


Tony,

US chopper down 38 dead ,

Have you got a one  for that?

Posted on: 06 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Twenty two seals have been killed in Afghanistan?

Jesus, this polar bear is more prolific than we thought!
Posted on: 08 August 2011 by Blueknowz

Do you not think it was time you left  http://www.sickipedia.org/  to the kids Tony?

Posted on: 08 August 2011 by Tony Lockhart
No. It's time I left this forum to people like you. Bye.
Posted on: 08 August 2011 by El Guapo

Michael Jackson announces tour - dies shortly afterwards

Amy Winehouse  announces tour - dies shortly afterwards

Looking forward to the Justin Bieber and Cheryl Cole tours

Posted on: 10 August 2011 by Paper Plane

My mate said it was ok to have sex with girls after they'd left school.

 

Seems he didn't mean 3.30pm...

 

steve

Posted on: 11 August 2011 by Polarbear
Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day.
At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day.
He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost
certain to follow."One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.
"No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of His mouth,just to shut her
up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
She'd yell, "One hundred and Fifty pounds!"
He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"
One day, Camilla decided to accompany her 'husband'. 
As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realised she'd
bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been
doing on all his past outings.
He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his Wife.
As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive
than usual.
Sure enough, there she stood.
He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled:
"See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard!"
Posted on: 11 August 2011 by Clay Bingham

LOL!

 

Thank you Polarbear.

Posted on: 12 August 2011 by A_Bull
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}">Reports from Hampton Court Palace suggest a small quartet of men in heraldic costume have just begun luting.</h6>
Posted on: 12 August 2011 by BigH47

I just had an out of body experience , I was beside myself!

Posted on: 12 August 2011 by BigH47

I'm getting a picture framed this weekend.

 

I feel a little guilty as the picture is innocent!

Posted on: 12 August 2011 by James L

Sesame Street says Bert and Ernie aren't gay, tho I find it suspicious that the last episode was brought to you by the letters L, G, B, & T.

 

 

(courtesy of a Tweet from Stephen Corbert)

Posted on: 17 August 2011 by Mike-B
If this financial situation gets any worse the only banks left will be blood banks & sperm banks
Then the country will really be run by bloody w masturbators
Posted on: 18 August 2011 by PJT

Teacher:

Little Johnny, can you tell  me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's  lives?

 

 

Little Johnny answered:

Drin-king,  smo-king and fuc-king.

Posted on: 18 August 2011 by TomK

You forgot King Wan.