Best Jokes (continues)

Can Manx cats can be cured with retail therapy ??

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.

She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more
and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would
meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am..'

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.

'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is
probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your
information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been
much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.'

The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you
expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in
exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow,
it's my f**king fault.

"We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here" said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

Jono

Links aren't allowed hence ...

Search for "Nigella talks dirty" on youtube

That's hilarious.

I missed my bus this morning.

I should really stop getting so emotionally attached to public transport.

I never wanted to believe that my Dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

Old person's chat-upline: "Do I come here often?"

For sale: my collection of dead batteries. Completely free of charge.

Not a joke but it made me laugh.

Janice Long has just come on Air on Radio2 and said i dont belive it?I have just court my ring in my tights and ripped them.

I just got a text.

Why are they still letting miners down the pits.

I thought child labour was against the law.

Now that's a scarey image!!!

Jono

FOR SALE

Tennis racquet , with full service history!