Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Posted on: 27 September 2011 by Ismaningerman
Old person's chat-upline: "Do I come here often?"
Posted on: 27 September 2011 by BigH47
For sale: my collection of dead batteries. Completely free of charge.
Posted on: 27 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Being a big fan of Mark Bolan, I have to say I was a little disappointed by the T-Rex t-shirt I ordered off of Ebay.
It was a little short in the arms and a few hundred sizes too big.
Posted on: 27 September 2011 by Gale 401
Not a joke but it made me laugh.
Janice Long has just come on Air on Radio2 and said i dont belive it?I have just court my ring in my tights and ripped them.
Posted on: 27 September 2011 by Gale 401
I just got a text.
Why are they still letting miners down the pits.
I thought child labour was against the law.
Posted on: 28 September 2011 by Jono 13
Originally Posted by Gale 401:
Not a joke but it made me laugh.
Janice Long has just come on Air on Radio2 and said i dont belive it?I have just court my ring in my tights and ripped them.
Now that's a scarey image!!!
Jono
Posted on: 28 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
I had just finished having sex with three birds in a brothel, when the owner asked "What next?"
I replied, "Do you mind if I have a breather?"
She said "Sure. Did the corpses not do anything for you?"
Posted on: 28 September 2011 by BigH47
FOR SALE
Tennis racquet , with full service history!
Posted on: 28 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Just saw a German philosopher out buying fruit. Pretty sure I've spotted a Nietzsche in the market.
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
News: British man in South Africa loses legs after ignoring shark warning.
Bet he's kicking himself now.
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by tonym
The shark tells me he only got two feet away from the bloke and he started screaming.
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
I noticed he was taken to hospital in a helicopter.
So who'll foot the bill for that?
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Lego drum kits.
If you can't beat them, Join them.
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by tonym
There's no justification for making jokes about shark attacks. You don't have a leg to stand on.
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Dear Greece,
You'll get your weather back when you've paid your bills.
Lots of love
The UK
Posted on: 29 September 2011 by BigH47
A fact of life: After Monday, Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.
Posted on: 01 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
Two men walk into a bar.
The first man says "I'll have some H2O please"
The second man says "I'll have some H2O too."
The second man died.
Posted on: 02 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
October 1st 2011. Hottest October day since records began.
October 2nd 2011. Hottest October day since yesterday...
Tony
Posted on: 02 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
BBC NEWS: Plane in Australia hits ferris wheel.
Police say the pilot is slowly coming round.
Posted on: 02 October 2011 by Gale 401
Put a spin on this?
Shane has bought her a new ring,Does he get a new box?
Cricket jokes only please.
Stu
Posted on: 02 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
He already has a new head. Perhaps Liz likes nice head?
Posted on: 03 October 2011 by tonym
BBC News: An ultra-light plane has crashed into a Ferris wheel in a village north of Sydney, trapping four people, Australian officials say.
Some people dream of being a pilot, others simply fail to see the attraction.
Posted on: 03 October 2011 by Fred Mulder
Good to you're back Tony!
Fred
Posted on: 03 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
My wife said she is going to slip into something sexy tonight.
"Me too." I replied, "Your sister."
Posted on: 03 October 2011 by Tony Lockhart
My girlfriend said I wasn't supportive enough.
So I cupped her boobs
