Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
I met the guy who invented the window sill today at work. What a ledge!!
You find that couples who have been together a long time often finish the sentences of their partner. Like Rosemary West ....
(Stolen from I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue)
There's been an explosion at a pie factory in Wigan. 3.142 people have been killed.
Just Got a Jehovahs Witness Advent Calendar, It's great, every time you open a door some one tells you to F**K OFF !
Blonde on an escalator?
Now then, now then pop pickers!
This weeks non-mover is
Jimmy Savile
My pet budgie broke both his legs when he fell off his perch, so I decided to make him some splints out of Swan Vesta matches.
His little face lit up when he started to walk.....
I was driving past a field the other day and saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank.
I thought 'f*ck me, He's clutching at straws'
Apparently she objected, so I'm banned now.
Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm so the two decide to go the doctor to find out why. After a number of tests and questions, the doc suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex. Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After 20 minutes of wafting, still no orgasm, and so his friend suggests a swap. 'Il shag her and you waft the towel'. Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever. Paddy turns to his friend slowly and says... 'and that my old son is how you waft a f***in towel'
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job.
I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
Came home from the pub at the weekend and found the wife dead in bed. Thought I'd like to have sex with her one last time just for old times sake. As I got to the 'vinegar stroke' she opened her eyes and said "BOO". There's some bloody sick people in this world