Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
The cardinals and the pope are locked in one room for their annual meeting in Rome.
In a moment of desperation, there was a loud knock,almost crashing sound, that interrupts the holy meeting.
A man comes in and proclaims to the pope that Christ has risen and made a call to the world!
The pope asks the man," What does our lord ask of us?"
The man reply's, "Your Holiness,we are not sure.But it appears the call is coming from Salt lake city."
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Roy Hodgson and Gary Neville are on the flight out to Poland for Euro2012, and are discussing tactics. Neville says 'Dont forget that theres no Wayne for the first two matches'. Hodgson says 'Good, because I forgot to pack my bwolly anyway'.
I went to a bulimia convention last night.
The place was heaving.
I've just finished filing my girlfriend's nails.
I've put them in 'N', next to her neck and her nose.
Two cowboys are talking about sex.
One cowboy says "I like the rodeo position best"
"I haven't heard of that" says the other cowboy, "what is it?"
"Well," says the first cowboy "get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup each of her breasts and whisper 'These feel just like your sister's.' Then try and hold on for 8 seconds"
Medical Fact for Today: After weight loss surgery you're not supposed to inhale helium from a balloon & talk funny. Gas trick banned, apparently .
Shampoo Warning
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower.
when I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very
> >
PROBLEM SOLVED
If I don't answer, I'll be in the shower! 
This made me laugh
Rod, I was almost crying at that one.
Tony
Dr Hedgeh is indeed funny af, but sadly, a fake: