Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
I went to the doctors the other day for some viagra. He asked me if I wanted it to improve my sex drive. I said no, just to stop me rolling out of bed.
After a long marriage, the husband was the first to pop his clogs and, true to his word he made contact,
"Mary... Mary..."
"Is that you, Fred?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again."
"Oh, Fred, you surely must be in heaven."
"Not exactly, Mary - I'm now a rabbit in Suffolk."
In retrospect I should have posted my Facebook status as;
"I've blown the head gasket on my 1998 XR3i" rather than
"I've just b*ggered a 14 year old escort".
TL on holiday apparently. G
In retrospect I should have posted my Facebook status as;
"I've blown the head gasket on my 1998 XR3i" rather than
"I've just b*ggered a 14 year old escort".
PMSL!!!
Good one...
Phil
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."
A few weeks later, ‘The British Archaeological Society of Northern England’ reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely Fcuk all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Hiatus on the joke postings, that's all. G
Well, this is not a proper joke but the best reply ever given, in my opinion, to a post in a forum.
It was posted in PFM about one week ago.
A guy has started the thread >Do all amplifiers sound the same?<, which has been going on for 44 pages. At page 5, a guy asks the OP:
>What do your ears tell you?<
The OP answers:
>Nothing<
A third guy posts:
>In this case, I suggest an amp with subtitles<.
Battersea dogs' home was broken into last night and all the dogs set free or stolen.
Police say they are not sure who did it, but they do have plenty of leads.
I said "Hide, quick - the wife's coming and I've lost the remote!"