Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
What happens to a composer when he dies and is buried?
He de-composes.
ATB from George
2 Eskimos are out in their canoe - it;s damned cold, so they build a fire to warm themselves. Of course, it promptly burns through the bottom of the canoe and they drown. The moral of the tale?....."You can;t have your kayak and heat it".
R.
PHYSICS JOKE....
An atom sees another atom running around in a fluster....he says "hey, are you ok"...the other atom stops, catches its breath and pants "I'm in deep trouble, I seem to have lost an electron"......the other atom gasps in horror and replies "Oh my god, are you positive?"
I know, I know, but if you are a physics geek, it;s funny...sort of....
No, it's good!
ATB from George
Two neutrinos go through a bar...
Man goes into shop
"I'd like a packet of helicopter crisps please" he says
"Sorry sir, I only have plain"
Two neutrinos go through a bar...
Very fast?
Before the beer could be left in the loo?
I am guessing yes!
ATB from Geogre
"Show me good looser, and I'll show you a looser." Not sure to whom that quip should be attributed to, but i am definitrly a good looser so any may draw their own conclusion if they agree [as i do not[ with the quotation ...
ATB from George
Vince Lombardi's quote was about losers. Not sure about looser though, could be a joke about knicker elastic I suppose.
Here's one for the IT geeks
Why did the programmer always confuse Christmas and Halloween?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
The great chief of the reservation drank 46 pots of tea in one evening.
The following morning they found him lying dead in his tepee
Someone once asked me this question, it's not funny though!
If a piece of string is longer in its width than in its length, is it still a piece of string?
When I got inside they beat me with a stick and made me build a narrow-gauge railway.
"What star sign are you"
The other says -
"Can't you tell? I'm a Torus."
WHATS THE FUSS ABOUT COVERING THE FACE ABOUT?
Just rang pizza delivery and ordered a Thin & Crispy Supreme
They sent me
Diana Ross.
I said to the wife "You're so much like Cheryl Cole."
She said "So you think I'm beautiful?"
I said "No, I can't stand the sound of your bloody voice."
Brilliant, Tony. A good start to my weekend
I'm nicking it!
Tony
A young lad is remanded in custody for rioting. He is shown into a cell housing a big tattooed and pierced old lag with a shaven head and muscles on his muscles. The youngster thinks: I am going to be buggered for sure.
The old lag says: why don’t we play a game of mummy’s and daddy’s?
The youngster thinks: I am going to be buggered for sure.
The old lag says: tell you what, you can be daddy.
The youngster thinks: what a result and says OK.
The old lag says: so come over here and sit on mummy’s cock…
In ASDA, whilst packing shopping into the car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18 year old Eastern European girls in tight, tiny tops. They wash your screen with their tits up against the window and ask for a lift to the next ASDA as payment. On the way they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other. One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts to steal your wallet!
I had mine stolen last Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Twice on Sunday and once again today so BE CAREFUL!
PS You can buy wallets for 99P in Poundstretchers.