Best Jokes (continues)
Posted by: Adam Meredith on 28 April 2007
Not a member, Cbr--although I am definitely in sympathy with their main philosophy--fiscal responsibility. Not sure what their image is in the UK--I know generally among non-supporters, it is one of a bunch of crazed, half lunatic right-wing fringe who want to deport all minorities, kill all U.S. opponents, and outlaw all abortions. I have no doubt there are some of those folks--as with any coalition. However, I have a couple of acquaintances who have indeed been very active at the state (Texas) and national level, and the main thrust of their political activity has been aimed at reducing the runaway spending we have gotten into under Presidents Bush and Obama. If you look at a curve of where we are now with our deficit and where Greece was even 10 years ago--it is startling! As for the folks who wear the three-cornered hats and march around with fife and drums, though--I draw the line! 
The F1 races are in Austin--the city in which I spent my college years and literally 50 years of my life, before retiring to the Texas coast about 200 miles south. As a white Southerner, I sometimes feel I have missed out on my obligation to scratch my nether regions, pass gas, and go to Nascar races. It has always just left me cold. My fascination with all things British has, however, extended to a certain interest (without knowledge, mind you) of F1 racing. When I was a kid, Sterling Moss was one of my heroes. I saved up $800.00 and when I was 16, my mother told me I could buy a car with it. I found, on a used car lot, an XK-120--red with porcelain exhaust manifolds and a burled walnut dashboard. I had to take my mother to see it. She looked doubtful, but was going to say OK. Then she got into the drivers seat and saw that the speedometer went up to a maximum of 180 miles per hour (it was built for the U.S. market). I ended up having to buy my Grandmother's '58 Ford.
Were it not for that, I might have won that race over in Austin, and all my buddies could have made themselves annoying *******s by chanting "USA, USA, USA!:
Best regards,
Russ
Just received this from across the pond [Atlantic], and I did not see the punchline coming!
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Theparrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxiousand laced with profanity. John tried and tried tochange the bird's attitude by consistently saying onlypolite words, playing soft music and anything else he couldthink of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and theparrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation,threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in thefreezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kickedand screamed.Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heardfor over a minute.Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly openedthe door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped outonto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe Imay have offended you with my rude language andactions. I'm sincerely remorseful for myinappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to doeverything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such adramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, verysoftly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS!!!!!.
Not a member, Cbr--although I am definitely in sympathy with their main philosophy--fiscal responsibility. Not sure what their image is in the UK--I know generally among non-supporters, it is one of a bunch of crazed, half lunatic right-wing fringe who want to deport all minorities, kill all U.S. opponents, and outlaw all abortions. I have no doubt there are some of those folks--as with any coalition. However, I have a couple of acquaintances who have indeed been very active at the state (Texas) and national level, and the main thrust of their political activity has been aimed at reducing the runaway spending we have gotten into under Presidents Bush and Obama. If you look at a curve of where we are now with our deficit and where Greece was even 10 years ago--it is startling! As for the folks who wear the three-cornered hats and march around with fife and drums, though--I draw the line!
The F1 races are in Austin--the city in which I spent my college years and literally 50 years of my life, before retiring to the Texas coast about 200 miles south. As a white Southerner, I sometimes feel I have missed out on my obligation to scratch my nether regions, pass gas, and go to Nascar races. It has always just left me cold. My fascination with all things British has, however, extended to a certain interest (without knowledge, mind you) of F1 racing. When I was a kid, Sterling Moss was one of my heroes. I saved up $800.00 and when I was 16, my mother told me I could buy a car with it. I found, on a used car lot, an XK-120--red with porcelain exhaust manifolds and a burled walnut dashboard. I had to take my mother to see it. She looked doubtful, but was going to say OK. Then she got into the drivers seat and saw that the speedometer went up to a maximum of 180 miles per hour (it was built for the U.S. market). I ended up having to buy my Grandmother's '58 Ford.
Were it not for that, I might have won that race over in Austin, and all my buddies could have made themselves annoying *******s by chanting "USA, USA, USA!:
Best regards,
Russ
Nice story Russ, please keep in contact. Shame about the XK. Would be worth a small fortune now
Just received this from across the pond [Atlantic], and I did not see the punchline coming!
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Theparrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxiousand laced with profanity. John tried and tried tochange the bird's attitude by consistently saying onlypolite words, playing soft music and anything else he couldthink of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and theparrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation,threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in thefreezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kickedand screamed.Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heardfor over a minute.Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly openedthe door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped outonto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe Imay have offended you with my rude language andactions. I'm sincerely remorseful for myinappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to doeverything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such adramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, verysoftly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS!!!!!
Very good George, made my evening !
I won't add to that.......
Tony