calibrating the FEP scale
Posted by: Joe Petrik on 10 October 2000
Although some components work together synergistically -- suggesting that FEPs awarded to individual components can be multiplied -- for simplicity we should add individual points to get an overall FEP score.
Ready? Get a pad and pencil out and tally your FEPs...
Source FEPS
· Is your turntable worth more than your speakers? If yes, add 35 points.
· Do you own a record cleaner? If yes, add 25 points.
· Is your turntable placed on a dedicated altar? If yes, add 20 points.
· Do you use fancy anti-static inner sleeves? If yes, add 10 points.
· Does your turntable's platter weigh 50 kg or more? If yes, subtract 25 points.
· Is CD your only source? If yes, subtract 20 points, unless you own a CDS-II.
· Does your turntable have a record clamp? If yes, subtract 10 points.
Electronics FEPs
· Does your preamp have a mono switch? If yes, add 30 points.
· Have you ever accidentally left the preamp in mono but didn't notice for days? If yes, add 20 points.
· Did you paint the front of your 52 silver? If yes, add 10 points.
· Did you chintz out and get the preamp without a phono input? If yes, subtract 50 points.
· Does your preamp weigh 5 pounds and your power amp weigh 500? If yes, subtract 40 points.
· Does your preamp have tubes? If yes, subtract 30 points.
Speaker FEPs
· Do you own any of the following speakers: Kan I, Kan II, Sara, Isobarik, IBL, SBL, DBL, Quad 57s? If so, add 40 points.
· Do you position your speakers for the best overall groove and image (zero points), best groove (add 20 points), or best image (subtract 20 points)?
Lifestyle FEPs
· Do you enjoy air, space and blackness? If yes, subtract 40 points.
· Is it better to have thin but groovy bass (add 20 points) or full but flubby bass (subtract 20 points)?
· Have you ever spent an afternoon adjusting the tracking force for that magic value between 1.95 g and 1.97g? If yes, add 20 points.
· Do you vacuum your cartridge regularly, knowing full well that one day you'll suck the generator right out? If yes, add 15 points.
· Did you try all four positions of the belt and both positions of the mat on your LP12 to determine which sounds best? If yes, add 10 points. (If you ever wondered whether the belt and mat combinations interact and therefore exponentially increase the number of permutations add another 10 points. Add another 10 if you tried all permutations.)
· Do you spend Saturday afternoon at garage sales, looking for 50 cent LPs? If yes, add 10 points.
· Do you own a 45 RMP version of Yello's "Stella"? If yes, add 5 points.
· Do you own a half-speed master of ELP's "Tarkus"? If yes, subtract 40 points.
· Do you buy audiophool LPs for their smooth, silky sound? If yes subtract 35 points.
· Do you use a record clamp? If yes, subtract 20 points.
Palpable...and she'll stay put?! Oh my, I can't wait to play my Sam Fox record through the phazer.
quote:
But I do have the 323 boards for my 32.5. I just don't have them in right now, because I don't have a turntable source at work. I intend to get a turntable at home, and when I do I'll get boards for the 82 too. So I don't lose the 10 points. That leaves me at 40, fair and sqaure, so there! Catch you later!
General Vuksanovic, the men are suggesting the firing squad. I feel this is too serious a punishment for confusing secondary systems with primary system decisions, and the secondary charge of introducing 'vapour-systems'. Might I suggest chrome-bumper polishing detail instead? Additional penalty -ve FEP's is a question we will leave in your hands. Or should we involve the Field Marshall? 
Rico - musichead
[This message was edited by Rico on THURSDAY 12 October 2000 at 14:02.]
quote:
I proclaim the vinyl nutter our FEP leader. So, shall that be General Tony, General Lonorgan or General V. Nutter of her Majesty's Flat Earth Forces?
To quote The Young Ones: "Viva El Presidente!"
Apart from the lack of rank, and that we should have a fascist dictator's title for the position, Sergeant Scouse might stick? 
Rico - musichead